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If You Want To Meet The "GOP ACORN Rapid Response Committee" Please Do So Quickly

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Time is running out but there is enough time—but like barely though—to fill you in on what you need to know on a need-to-know basis: The House Republicans have formed a committee. It is called the "GOP ACORN Rapid Response Committee" or "GOPACORNRRCmte," although it probably has a secret code name. There's no time to speculate about what the secret code name may be. Its members include the crucial Representatives Patrick McHenry, Darrell Issa, and Michele Bachmann. The aims of said committee include:


  1. Defunding the ACORNS as swiftly as possible.
  2. Presumably developing training exercises that will allow them to defund the ACORNS in some kind of cool hyperspeed.

Here's another thing you need to know: The GOP ACORN Rapid Response Committee is ready when you are. They're also ready now.

[Ben Smith]

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HOLY ACHTUNG TWITTER IS FREAKING OUT! Special Counsel Robert Mueller's office (SCO) has issued a statement, almost 24 full hours after Buzzfeed's story on Donald Trump ordering Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about the failed Trump Tower Moscow deal started blowing everybody's minds. Mueller's spokesman says actually BuzzFeed got it a bit wrong. This is significant because 1) Mueller's office NEVER talks, and B) well, they're not actually saying BuzzFeed got it WRONG wrong. Just, you know, kinda wrong.

Wow, that statement is lawyered as fuck. BuzzFeed described "specific statements" wrong, and its "characterization of documents and testimony" was just an eensy bit off, and maybe if BuzzFeed moved this sofa over here it would take advantage of more natural light in the room, and honestly, BuzzFeed should trim up this one paragraph of its article, because those sentences DO NOT SPARK MARIE KONDO'S JOY.

Otherwise, it's great!

First of all, we want everybody to relax. Donald Trump is still a criminal.

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It's been a joy watching the reactions come in from TrumpWorld about the news that Donald Trump has committed YET ANOTHER CRIME, in this case suborning perjury by instructing his former lawyer thug fixer Michael Cohen to lie to Congress. How many other people did he do that with? WE DUNNO! But that's not what this post is about.

First of all, let's see what the big guy himself did. As with all presidential statements from the un-president, it happened on Twitter:

Oh wait, that's (grapes) not it. Here it is:

That's right, the president of the United States reacted to a bombshell news report exposing that he had tampered with a witness by suborning perjury by ... tampering with that witness some more in public, by threatening his father-in-law! (To be fair, Trump has been trying to intimidate the witness by encouraging the feds to investigate Cohen's father-in-law for a hot minute now. It's one of his things, like tweeting and pooping at the same time and comparing WALL to WHEEL.)

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