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Illuminati World Bank Cuts Rates, Stocks Tank

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All the world's great bankers -- the Illuminati, Bilderberg Group, Rothchilds and the Trilateral Commission -- put on their black robes and met in secret last night, under the Great Pyramids, to try to save their holdings, and maybe help the Global Economy. So all the rich world's central banks launched a coordinatedinterest-rate cut this morning. You can probably guess how the markets reacted.


First, there was happiness, on Wall Street! A little bit. Not much, really. But some bottom feeders came around, slurped up some "bargains," and then left the scum pool, in helicopters. And then everybody panicked again and the Dow closed down, again, this time by 189 points or 2%.

That's 9,258, if you are keeping track -- or 4,906 points less than the record reached a year ago this week: 14,164. Good-bye, 35% of DJIA!

The S&P 500 was down another 1.1% and the NASDAQ only bled 0.8% today, so hey, tech is back!

There was some vaguely good news, too! Pending home sales were up quite a bit in August, by 7.4%. That would be a good sign if buyers finally felt like things were hitting bottom and were maybe jumping back in the market because how long can you wait to buy a house if you, say, need a house and want to buy one? It would also be a good sign if a) They were correct (they're not) and b) if the word "pending" wasn't in there, as "pending" means it hasn't closed, so most of those deals probably collapsed as people couldn't get their loan after all.

Oh, also, it's a National Association of Realtors' statistic, which means it's just made-up bullshit. It's always a great time to buy a home, right?

What else? Ah, AIG. Remember how AIG was "rescued" with your $85 billion? They will need a little bit more, if that's okay. $38 billion more.

Oh and tax revenues are dropping fast across the country, so there won't be any police or ambulances or whatever to help you, as the vermin mobs head up your street, to eat you.

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