Imagine A World... Where A Documentary About Abject Loser Mitt Romney Is Coming To Netflix
One man... born with a silver spoon up his ass... risked a small fraction of his donors' vast fortunes... for reasons that were never entirely clear...
"If you lose, the country may think of you as a laughing stock... and that's okay."
But only after he failed spectacularly... did he realize... that running for president sucks... unless you win...
"A recent poll said 43% of Americans are not even sure who you are."
Which he didn't. This winter... Mitt Romney stars... as Mitt Romney... in... MITT.
"I think I'm a flawed candidate."
This film is not yet rated, nor should it be.
JUMP CUT TO:
INT. YOUR SQUALID HOVEL -- DAY
Sunlight seeps through the dirty sheets that are your curtains. Stink lines float like ghosts above cartons of Chinese food. A dead goldfish, your only friend, floats like a dead goldfish in a fishbowl, reading a newspaper. You turn on Netflix and search, like you do every day, for "MITT."