Border Patrol Guy So Dumb Even Chuck Todd Can Dunk On Him

It's your Sunday Show Rundown!

We begin today with acting (aren't they all?) commissioner of US Customs and Border Protection and gang member clairvoyant Mark Morgan. Appearing on CNN's "State of the Union" with Jake Tapper, Morgan was asked about the ICE raids on chicken processing plants in Mississippi that occurred on the same day Trump was grinning like a jackass while making orphaned newborns come back for photo ops in El Paso, Texas.

Tapper begins by asking Morgan why, if they are focused on "violent criminals," did this raid happen:

MORGAN: Well, so, first of all, I never said that the raids, as you call, were focused on violent criminals. I have never said that. And, also, I think words matter. These aren't raids. These are targeted law enforcement operations. And, in this case, this was a joint criminal investigation with ICE and the Department of Justice targeting work site enforcement, meaning companies that knowingly and willfully hire illegal aliens, so that, in most cases, they can pay them reduced wages, exploit them further for their bottom line.

Interesting theory Morgan has here: In order to investigate a crime, you arrest the victims or those exploited rather than the people actually victimizing or exploiting them. Tapper, just as confused by this strategy, asked a similar question:

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ICE Raids Leave Kids All Alone In Mississippi Streets, America Very Great

Abolish ICE.

While Donald Trump was on his way to visit victims of the mass shooting in El Paso yesterday -- an attack by a killer who shares Trump's belief that America is being "invaded" by undocumented immigrants -- another part of Trump's deport-everyone agenda was rolling into action. In Mississippi, ICE agents raided multiple food processing plants, arresting nearly 700 people suspected of being in the country illegally. All over the state, workers were made to line up, and those suspected of being undocumented were rounded up, put on buses, and taken away. Oh, yes, and if their children were at school, tough luck -- a reporter for Jackson station WJTV tweeted that in Forrest, Mississippi, confused, crying children were simply "left alone in the streets." That's how we treat US citizens born to the invaders who take Americans' precious chicken-slaughtering jobs.

But don't worry, several good Christians in the replies were quite certain that's entirely proper, since their parents BROKE THE LAW, and the children should be deported right along with their criminal parents.

Kind of makes you wonder why that shooter in Texas could possibly have seen Latinos as less than human.

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Post-Racial America

Who Is Mass-Murdering Everyone All The Time? 'Diversity.'

Thanks Tucker, Laura, and President Trump!

Throughout the weekend, amid two tragic mass shootings, and following the massacre at the Gilroy Garlic Festival shooting earlier in the week, conservatives grasped for any possible "explanation" that had nothing to do with how easy it is to get a gun that makes it very easy to kill a lot of people at once. "Mental illness!" they cried. "Video games!" they yelled, as if these things do not also exist in countries where this doesn't happen three times a week.

But perhaps the most nauseating reason we've seen put forward for "why this keeps happening here and nowhere else" is — I shit you not — because those other countries are "homogenous" and the United States is diverse. This came as quite a surprise to many residents of Canada, a diverse country that does not have three major mass shootings a week. Yes, it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that those countries have gun control, and everything to do with a lack of diversity, because apparently diversity (and not people fear-mongering about diversity) forces young men who are mad about diversity to go kill a bunch of people. And diversity, not their bigotry, is the real problem. Sure.

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Post-Racial America

Trump Inspiring White Supremacist Terrorists? Well That Could Not Be!

it's your Sunday Show Rundown!

Welcome to the Sunday show roundup; this one is grim.

The Sunday shows dealt with the aftermath of ANOTHER mass shooting that took place in El Paso, Texas (followed by ANOTHER in Dayton, Ohio). No other Sunday show guest tried harder to contort into pretzels of blame-shifting than former South Carolina representative, Director of the Office of Management and Budget (OMB), Acting White House Chief of Staff and professional fuckmook Mick Mulvaney.

Appearing on ABC's "This Week," he was confronted by Jonathan Karl with the reality of El Paso at least (and presumably Dayton, and presumably Gilroy) being white nationalist terrorism so obvious even (one) Republican had to say so. And it was instigated and ignored by his oddly silent boss on Sunday. Mulvaney wanted you to LOOK OVER THERE:

MULVANEY: It's a fair question I think to ask. Which is, look, did anyone blame Bernie Sanders for the congressional baseball game shooting? No, I don't think so. Did anyone blame Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for the gentleman -- gentleman -- for the crazy guy who tried to blow up the DHS office in Washington state, taking I think a homemade bomb and an AR-15 to shoot up what he called a concentration camp, the exact same rhetoric that AOC was using? Did anybody blame her? Look, there's -- there's no benefit here to trying to make this a political issue. This is a social issue and we need to address it as -- as that.
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Lindsey Graham Breaks Senate For Very Good Reason: So We Can Lock Up Children Forever

Won't let foreigns or Democrats take his jerb away.

Lindsey Graham's bill to "reform" the asylum process -- by destroying it -- passed out of the Senate Judiciary Committee Thursday after Graham had himself a nice little snit, accusing Democrats of such terrible dishonesty that he had to break about a million rules to get the vote -- for a bill that has no chance of ever going anywhere in the House, so you wonder why he made such a fuss. Why, Lindsey? Well, it will make him a hero to Donald Trump, that's why, because his terrible bill would get rid of "loopholes" in asylum law that actually sometimes result in people being granted asylum.

We won't go into all the back and forth in Graham's forcing the vote, because the Honored Traditions of the Senate were already tossed into a box labeled "Nostalgic Relics" following the nomination of Merrick Garland. Basically, Graham was pissed that a Judiciary Committee meeting last week was one Democrat short of a quorum, and he accused Democrats of deliberately walking out to prevent the bill from getting a vote.

"You are not going to take my job away from me," Graham said. "I take this very personally. I've tried my best to find a compromise."

Fact check: Graham argues that he is open to compromise, but also argues his bill, which would make the asylum process far more difficult, is the only way to solve the crisis on the border that Donald Trump constructed.

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Lose Your Group Home License, Get A $4 Million Contract To Open A Baby Jail

Everything about this is completely normal.

Now that the Trump administration got the billions in new funding it wanted for locking up undocumented immigrants, conditions in the baby jails are sure to get a lot better, right? Or not, at least as we learn in a new story by WRAL and Reveal, from the Center for Investigative Reporting. Seems there's this outfit in North Carolina, "New Horizon Group Home LLC," that opened a group home for kids with mental illnesses -- US American kids -- last year, but the place was so horribly run that the state shut it down within 45 days, because the conditions posed "an imminent danger to the health, safety and welfare" of the seven boys housed there.

So OF COURSE the federal Administration for Children and Families, part of the Department of Health and Human Services, awarded a $3.9 million grant to New Horizons, to open a brand new, much bigger facility to house up to 72 undocumented migrant kids between the ages of seven and 17. Just to add another agency into the mix, the facility would operate under contract with the Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR) which oversees the nation's network of immigration baby jails.

New Horizons is still fighting to overturn its license revocation in the 2018 case. It's never operated a facility for migrant kids, and has never run anywhere near as large a facility as the new contract calls for. And here's the best part! If New Horizons loses its appeal of the 2018 group home closure, it won't be eligible to get a new license until 2023 -- a year after the end of the grant it was awarded in April. Hope nobody's cashed any checks yet.

This is one of those investigative reporting stories where each subsequent paragraph makes you open your eyes just a little wider in horrified amazement.

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Haha Suckers Who Thought Family Separation 'Ended'

We've taken 911 kids from their parents since we 'stopped.' Never forget.

The American Civil Liberties Union advised a federal judge yesterday that the government has continued to take children away from migrant families, often on the flimsiest of pretexts. That's despite the judge's court order last year requiring all children separated from their parents be reunified, and mandating that the only reason the government can separate kids is if there's clear evidence the parent is a danger to the child. Instead, according to the government's own records, parents have had their kids removed because parents had committed minor traffic offenses; they also faced long-past accusations of crimes, spurious accusations of "unfit" parenting, and border agents who simply didn't believe parents' documents showing the kids were really their own. The ACLU is asking US District Judge Dana Sabraw to order an immediate halt to separations for trivial reasons, and to define clear guidelines to limit new separations going forward.

The ACLU filing is long and horrific, detailing the often ridiculous reasons the government has given for taking kids from their parents. It shows that a shocking number of the kids affected are very young -- half are younger than 10 years of age, and 20 percent are under five years old.

Some examples: The government took kids away from parents for very minor offenses like these:

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Immigration Roundup: Oh, Like A Roundup Of Stories And Also We Are Rounding Up *People*, Isn't That Fun?

Not in our name.

While Donald Trump has been trying to get some members of Congress killed, his administration continues its holy mission of attempting to make America such a shithole nation that no one would ever want to seek refuge here. Here are four or five (probably six by the time we post!) things that have happened just since Friday in the name of making this country great.

'You Have No Rights '

Last week, US Customs and Border Protection finally released Francisco Galicia, an 18-year-old US citizen, after holding him for 23 days. Yes, you read that right, a US citizen was kept locked up in a filthy, overcrowded border detention center for just under a month, then transferred to ICE for removal proceedings. When he was arrested at a highway checkpoint in Texas on June 27, Galicia had a wallet version of his birth certificate, his Social Security card, and a Texas ID card. But agents were certain the documents were fake, so they continued to hold him even after his attorney submitted his long-form birth certificate. Because America is being invaded, by American citizens. Galicia was only released after the Dallas Morning News brought attention to his detention.

During his detention, Galicia lost 26 pounds, and says he was pressured by Border Patrol agents to sign papers allowing his deportation. He told CNN, "It was like psychological torture to the point where I almost (agreed to be deported). I felt safer to be in the cell than to be with the officers." The officers threatened to bring felony charges against him for counterfeiting his real documents, and when he asked to call his family and to contact an attorney, was told "You have no rights." Apparently the Border Patrol is getting legal counsel from Twitter now.

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Judge Tells Stephen Miller To F*ck Off, Again

Silly judge, Congress doesn't make laws, the president does!

A federal judge has blocked the Trump administration's latest attempt to eliminate asylum for people fleeing Central American countries, hours after a different judge -- a Trump appointee -- said the rule could remain in place. US District Judge Jon S. Tigar ruled that the administration had attempted a "shortcut" around existing asylum law by trying to force asylum seekers to apply for asylum in other countries before they can request asylum in the USA. That's some bullshit, Tigar wrote in his injunction, holding that the new rule was likely to be struck down on further review and putting it on hold for now. Fine, Tigar used law-talking words, not "that's some bullshit," but we know what he meant. He meant "Fuck you, Stephen Miller."

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ICE Don't Need No Stinking Judges

We must do something about these lawless aliens. Like get rid of due process!

In yet another brilliant move that has to have its origins in the mind of Stephen Miller, the Department of Homeland Security announced a new rule Monday that will vastly expand its ability to deport undocumented immigrants -- without so much as a hearing. The new regulation will broaden the ability of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) to subject people to "expedited removal," a process for instant deportation that currently is used only against a limited number of undocumented migrants. When the rule is published in the Federal Register today, it will immediately go into effect, because we're in an EMERGY, remember? One that Donald Trump created for political purposes, but an emergy all the same.

Currently, only certain undocumented immigrants are subject to "expedited removal": those who have been in the country less than two weeks, and who are caught within 100 miles of the border, usually by the Border Patrol. Unless they request asylum (and can demonstrate a "credible fear" of persecution or torture if they're returned to their home countries), such recent arrivals can generally be deported without a hearing under the Immigration and Naturalization Act.

But DHS has decided to scrap those limits. Instead, ANYONE who doesn't have a pending asylum or other immigration hearing can be placed into expedited removal, anywhere in the country. Expedited removal can be used on anyone who's unable to demonstrate, "to the satisfaction of an immigration officer, that they have been physically present in the United States continuously for the two-year period immediately preceding the date of the determination of inadmissibility." Quick, can YOU prove, right now, with only the documents you have on you, that you have physically been in the US for the past two years? To the "satisfaction" of a federal officer who has instructions to deport you if at all possible?

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White Nonsense

Chris Wallace Sh*ts All Over Stephen Miller, So That's 'Sad'

It's the Sunday Show Rundown!

El Presidente Trumpito's syphilis-addled brain tweets from last week, when he told four congresswomen of color ("The Squad," Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib, and Ayanna Pressley) to "go back where you came from," sent Republicans on a weeklong Circe De SuRacists acrobatics to excuse it.

We went from Kellyanne Conway's impromptu with journalists to racists at a Trump rally chanting "Send Her Back" which Trump basked in before trying to gaslight people into believing he opposed to it only to later follow it with "sorry not sorry" while doubling down. Normally, any sane person would let this die down so the media/news cycle could move on. But norms don't exist, President Fucksquib is not a sane person, and time is a flat circle we are doomed to repeat.

Living these 2 1/2 years really ages you...


So early Sunday morning, while probably fast food constipated, Donnie decided to tweet:

So who better to speak about racism than Trump's own Wormtongue, Stephen Miller, on "Fox News Sunday" with Chris Wallace.

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Post-Racial America

Trump Retweets Notorious British Racist Katie Hopkins In Order To Prove He Isn't Racist

She's a real gem!

Early this morning, Donald Trump got up and had an IDEA. "I know," he said to himself, "I will spend my morning retweeting Katie Hopikins, a British woman known far and wide as the kind of bigot who regularly calls black people 'jigaboos' and who refers to immigrants as 'feral humans.' Surely, her proclamation that telling several non-white congresswomen to go back to where they came from is not racist will impress everyone! If anyone ought to be the arbiter of what is and is not racist, it should be this one lady who once said that she loved racial profiling and didn't mind if people called her a racist because of that."

And that is just what he did.

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Elijah Cummings, AOC Tapdancing On Assholes' Faces Again

Acting Homeland Security secretary Kevin McAleenan, COME ON DOWN!

The House Oversight Committee grilled acting Homeland Security Secretary Kevin McAleenan yesterday about the current strategic incompetence and mistreatment of migrants at the border. McAleenan insisted the Border Patrol was doing the very best it could to deal with increased numbers of border crossers, but parroted the administration line that overcrowding in Customs and Border Protection (CBP) facilities were simply a result of Congress's failure to fund Donald Trump's beautiful dream of detaining all asylum-seekers and their families forever. For some reason, Democrats on the committee weren't buying it!

Americans' frustrations with the cruelty at the border were channeled by Oversight Committee Chair Elijah Cummings (D-Maryland), who reminded McAleenan what moral outrage looks like.

Here's the start of the exchange. Cummings starts off measured, but as he discusses a federal judge's finding that DHS "did a better job of tracking immigrants' personal property than their children" during last year's family separation crisis, he gets more and more pissed off, wondering why the entire administration seems to suffer from a "empathy deficit."

I'm talking about human beings. I'm not talking about people that come from, as the president said, s.h.-holes. These are human beings. Human beings. Just trying to live a better life.

As the questioning continued, Cummings presented the facts: DHS -- and McAleenan, as then-head of CBP -- had lied when it said it kept careful records of all the children taken from their parents. The DHS inspector general documented there was no such database, and the judge in the case repeatedly excoriated the administration for not keeping track of the children.

Eventually, Cummings built to a crescendo of righteous anger over McAleenan's bland assurances that since most of the separated children were eventually reunited with their parents, everything worked out just fine.

"And therefore, I guess — you feel like you're doing a great job right?" Cummings asked. McAleenan started replying that golly, DHS is "doing our level best," but Cummings had had enough:

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Post-Racial America

AOC And 'The Squad': Focus On Trump's Racist Bullsh*t Policy, Not His Racist Bullsh*t Tweets

It's like they're skilled politicians or something!

(Cute update appended. No, really!) Not long after Donald Trump doubled down on his racist rant telling them to Love Trumpmerica or Leave It, the four Democratic congresswomen Trump would like to run against in 2020 held a presser of their own to remind America Trump's playing a losing game, because he's a loser. Again and again, they pointed out that getting bogged down in the details of Trump's racist tweets is a distraction from the actual harm his policies are doing. And then the media went straight back to discussing the "feud" between Trump and the four first-term Democrats, Ayanna Pressley, Ilhan Omar, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and Rashida Tlaib.

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Elizabeth Warren Has A Plan For Trump Border Goons Who Abuse Babies For Trump

You know who belongs in jail? US officials who've abused immigrants.

Elizabeth Warren had a little announcement to make at the annual Netroots Nation conference this weekend. Not only does she have a plan for immigration, she also has some plans for those who have broken laws while carrying out Donald Trump's agenda of maximum cruelty toward immigrants. It may involve sending some people to jail, and not for a misdemeanor charge of crossing the border without papers. Tempting though it might be, Warren didn't say she'd take any officials' children away. In the case of Trump himself, there might be something to be said for sentencing to house arrest at Eric Trump's place, which you just know reeks of unwashed socks.

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Trump Doesn't Like Our Asylum Laws, So What Asylum Laws?

Stephen Miller's name isn't on it. But oh, the stench is.

The Trump administration released a new "interim final rule" on asylum today that would effectively end any chance of asylum at the southern border. The rule will be published in the Federal Register tomorrow, and take effect immediately; it would bar asylum applications from anyone "failing to apply for protection from persecution or torture while in a third country through which they transited en route to the United States." Not surprisingly, the ACLU immediately announced plans to challenge the rule in federal court. It's just the latest attempt by the government to ignore international agreements and existing US law, with the goal of sharply limiting even legal immigration and making America whiter. Trump immigration Obersturmbannführer Stephen Miller's name isn't on the document, but it sure reeks of his handiwork.

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