Donate
Culture

Trump Topples Confederate Monument Jeff Sessions. No One Black Will Miss Him

The line to dance on Sessions's political grave starts behind the ghost of Coretta Scott King.

Jeff Sessions "resigned" as attorney general Wednesday, and African Americans across the country living, dead, and somewhere in between, are rejoicing. Now, we are sensible people. We understand that Donald Trump whacked Sessions for no honorable reason, almost certainly to obstruct justice in the Russia investigation. We get that the acting attorney general, Matthew Whitaker, literally wrote a cover letter for the job posing as a CNN op-ed stating that Robert Mueller's investigation had "gone too far."

Just listen to us for a moment, white people: We know that Trump is shredding the rule of law and we've just advanced a few rounds in the fascism home game. We're going to be sad later, but just let us be happy right now. And, baby, are we happy.

Keep reading... Show less
Russia

Jim Acosta: American Hero. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Nov. 8, 2018

Another mass shooting, the White House revokes Jim Acosta's press pass, and House Republicans start stabbing each other in the face. Your morning news brief.

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
Elections

David Brooks Tries On Steve King's Hood, But Like *Moderately* And Whatnot

What's with this guy?

David Brooks, member of the Mediocre White Men Society (his uncle was on the board), is concerned that America is becoming a chocolate city. Brooks scribbled out his scary thoughts in yesterday's New York Times.

Here's the central challenge of our age: Over the next few decades, America will become a majority-minority country. It is hard to think of other major nations, down through history, that have managed such a transition and still held together.

Let's "kick the ballistics" here: "Majority-minority country" is a white supremacist concept. How are the current minorities still "minorities" if we suddenly outnumber what was once the "majority"? I remember an interview with Steven Tyler back in 1998 when he described himself as an "18 year old with 32 years experience!" This is a similarly pathetic denial of reality and the ongoing march of time except also really racist.

Keep reading... Show less
Post-Racial America

Border Patrol Axes Today's El Paso 'Crowd Control' 'Exercise,' Nothing To See Here, Move Along

And who the fuck thought it was a good idea in the first place?

US Customs and Border Protection has decided maybe election day isn't such a great day to practice Border Patrol "crowd control" techniques in the west Texas town of El Paso after all. Or specifically, after Texas and national media brought attention to the exercise with a unified, incredulous, "WHAT EVEN THE FUCK?"

Mind you, it was a routine exercise, the sort of thing law enforcement agencies do routinely, although maybe what's not routine is a very public show of force in a border town ON ELECTION DAY, at the end of a campaign in which Donald Trump has been hyping fears of a "caravan" of asylum-seekers who won't arrive for weeks. Oh, yeah, and in the home town of Beto O'Rourke, the Democratic nominee for US Senate. Other than THAT, it was a perfectly routine training operation.

Keep reading... Show less
Russia

ELECTION DAY! Wonkagenda For Tues., Nov. 6, 2018

Get your ass to the polls after you read your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
Elections

Jake Tapper Cuts Ronna Romney McDaniel's Sh*t

And that's how you do it, Sunday shows!

Hello Wonks! Welcome to a Before-Election Sunday Show Rundown! All the network Sunday shows featured new panel designs for their Election Night extravaganzas. From the subtle:

Oh, what a lovely brunch.

to an "Apple Store 4th of July":

Facebook in human form

to a gawdy "Holy shit, someone's overcompensating for something"!

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!!!

But today's we'll mainly focus on RNC Chairwoman and secret Romney, Ronna Romney McDaniel. Appearing on "CNN's State of the Union with Jake Tapper," McDaniel was making just one of her many Sunday show stops to put a bow on the Republican message going into this Tuesday's elections. What she didn't expect was Tapper channeling a honey badger and creating the most excruciating nine minutes of McDaniel's weekend.

Keep reading... Show less
Immigrants

Donald Trump Just Wants To Shoot Refugees *For Freedom*, Is That So Wrong?

Operation Migrant Panic isn't going to launch itself!

Donald Trump isn't just sending more troops to the border than are currently deployed in Afghanistan, all for the sake of "protecting" America from a bunch of migrants fleeing violence (who are still weeks away, in an ever-dwindling caravan). Oh gosh no. After the "distracting" murders at a synagogue by a fellow white supremacist and the mail bombs sent by Trump's biggest fan, Trump needed some heavy-duty pandering to make sure his base got right back into Immigration Panic mode, so he went on the teevee and announced Operation Constant Erection, and during a half-hour waste of time on national cable news, promised to shoot some of those awful caravaners if they were to get of line.

Keep reading... Show less
Culture

Don Lemon Unfairly Suggests White People Focus On Who's Actually Killing Them

Boy, is he uppity!

CNN's Don Lemon callously disrupted all the racial harmony we've enjoyed in Donald Trump's America when he declared Monday that "white men are the devil." No, actually, he didn't pull a Louis Farrakhan, to invoke a familiar bogeyman. He just stated inconvenient facts.

LEMON: I keep trying to point out to people and not to demonize any one group or any one ethnicity. But we keep thinking that the biggest terror threat is something else, someone, people who are marching, you know, towards the border, like it's imminent. So, we have to stop demonizing people and realize the biggest terror threat in this country is white men, most of them radicalized to the right, and we have to start doing something about them. There is no travel ban on them. There is no ban on -- you know, they had the Muslim ban. There is no white guy ban. So what do we do about that?

Naturally, this caused all the people who don't see race to suddenly see theirs and feel attacked and "demonized." Welcome to the club. The DJ in the "Stop and Frisk" room is playing some early Britney Spears. Lemon isn't suggesting we actually "ban" white men. If we did that, who'd tell us our opinions are wrong? He's just pointing out that Americans tend to exaggerate perceived threats, presuming the worst in those who don't look or worship like them. America just suffered the deadliest anti-Semitic attack in US history, following a terrifying period when a deranged Trump supporter mailed out explosive devices to prominent Democrats including more than one former president. How does the current president respond? He rants about possible rock-wielding immigrants. We have seen the enemy, and we refuse to accept it's us.

Keep reading... Show less
Science

Trump's Spy Machine Stalking Twitter For 'Insurrection'

There's a military social media spy machine, and the Trump administration hid it.

The Trump administration is scraping social media in order to spy on anti-Trump protests, but that's not all! Curiously vague updates to the new defense doctrine give the military more authority to act in the event of "emergencies," like an insurrection or an invasion of taco trucks. With such broad tools you'd think a definitely not racist person like Trump might find a way to stop a mass murder or two.

Motherboard reports that when the Trump administration took office it inherited a fancy new computer to spy on the social media of Not America. It didn't take long for someone to wonder if it could be used to spy on all the communists who didn't vote for Trump. The Army cut some nerds a check to follow the 2016 post-election protests, like at the inauguration, the airport protests, and the Women's March. They found that whenever people wear their pink pussy hats and march in the streets they usually post a lot on social media. The report concluded that by cyber stalking social networks, you can predict the likelihood of violent protests.

After realizing what neat little toys the Obama administration had been cooking up, the Intelligence Advanced Research Projects Activity (IARPA) took its social media spy machine, called Embers, and moved it to the private sector. Safely hidden from the prying eyes of pesky FOIAs, the Trump administration can simply pay someone else do the legally dubious and dirty work of spying on Americans.

Keep reading... Show less
Russia

'Consider It A Rifle.' Wonkagenda For Fri., Nov. 2, 2018

They want to have a massacree. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
Post-Racial America

Caravan ​Bebes​ Finally Get Chance To Dance And Play

Shut up fuck you we're not crying you're crying.

NBC News brings us an important update on the threat posed to America by the caravan of asylum-seeking Honduran and Guatemalan migrants slowly making its way north, still some 900 miles and weeks away from the US-Mexico border. There are children among the families fleeing violence in their home countries, and children, being children, don't give a fig for US racial panics that have been weaponized to boost rightwing turnout. Children want to play.

Keep reading... Show less
Elections

Trump: Illegal Immigrants Taking Murder Jobs From Hard-Murdering Americans

Just when you think he can't get more racist. Just kidding, you knew he could.

The latest appalling thing Donald Trump has done -- honestly, who can even keep count these days? -- is the release of a racist attack ad that depicts illegal immigrants as the single greatest threat to America other than Democrats. I'm not linking to the ad because I'm not helping drive up Trump's engagement numbers, but you can find it pinned to the top of his Twitter page with the following absurd proclamation: "It is outrageous what the Democrats are doing to our Country. Vote Republican now!" It's basically a less subtle version of the "Futurama" PSA advising horny teenagers against sex with robots: "The next day Billy's planet was destroyed by aliens. That planet was Earth! DON'T DATE ROBOTS!"

Trump has taken time from his busy schedule of hate-mongering to remind voters just days before the midterms about Luis Bracamontes, a twice-deported Mexican immigrant who killed two police officers in 2014. When convicted, he expressed no remorse for his crimes and even vowed to "kill more" cops. Bracamontes was executed in April, so he now poses at least 20 percent less of a threat. Democrats apparently support an "open borders" policy with hell, so let's not get too comfortable.

Keep reading... Show less
Russia

'When I Can, I Tell The Truth.' Wonkagenda for Thurs., Nov. 1, 2018

Trump will build his wall with soldiers, there's a new "Willie Horton ad," and more post-Halloween horrors. Your morning news brief.

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
Trump

Trump White House Knows Who's To Blame For Pittsburgh Shooting, And It Is SQUIRREL! FAKE NEWS LIBERAL MEDIA SQUIRREL!

How could you possibly blame Trump for inciting violence, just because he incites violence all the time?

Are Republicans still saying the worst shit about this weekend's heinous mass murder of Jewish congregants in Pittsburgh, and also all the bombs that idiot tried to mail to two former presidents and a bunch of other prominent Democrats? Of course! Wonkette rounded up some of the worst responses on Sunday, and you will be very surprised to learn there are enough new ones for a whole new roundup post. In fact, there are TOO MANY new ones, so this post will just focus on the filth wafting out of the White House this fine Monday morning.

First, let's check in with President Shithole, and then swiftly move on from that:

Keep reading... Show less
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc