2020 presidential election

Trump's Good Re-election Plan: Starve The Military In Swing States! Yay!

He has a very good brain!

Donald Trump is so good at ELECTION. He has an intuitive understanding of ELECTORAL COLLEGE. How it works is, you piss all over your voters and steal from them, but you do it while shouting insane, racist nonsense and drawing dicks on weather maps. And then you win!

Trump is already putting his Very Stable Genius Plan into action with cuts to defense spending. After reaching a deal with Congress in February for $1.4 billion in border wall funding, Trump turned around and announced that he was going to grab an additional $3.6 billion from previously allocated defense funds by shouting "National Emergency!" If he gets Congress to "backfill" the allocations, he can just go ahead and steal it again. And if Congress refuses to reallocate the funds, then he'll blame Nancy Pelosi for hating the troops.

Win, win, win!

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Trump The Merciful Will Now Only Deport MOST Kids With Cancer

All praise to the Great Humanitarian!

The Trump administration has announced it will now not deport all the immigrants protected by a humanitarian program it suddenly ended last month with no public notice. Instead, US Citizenship and Immigration Services said in a press release Monday that it will reopen all cases that were pending on August 7, when the blanket denial of "medical deferment action" applications went into effect. Mind you, that doesn't mean the government is necessarily reversing its policy -- instead, this appears to be an effort to partly calm the shitstorm of publicity USCIS invited when news outlets got wind of the decision to start deporting sick people -- many of them children -- and sending them back to countries where many would die. Let's try not to applaud too loudly here.

For years, the "medical deferred action" program allowed a small number of immigrants and their families -- USCIS says it processes about a thousand applications a year, but denies a "majority" -- to stay in the US to continue medical treatment. But in Trump World, there is no room for humanitarianism, which is why Stephen Miller has taken steps to eliminate admission of refugees, and there's now no "My kid has cancer" in "immigration." Even in its announcement that it would reconsider the applications that it suddenly denied last month, USCIS was clear that sick immigrants really should just hurry up and die, because America has no use for them:

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Maybe Donald Trump Can Explain How Killing This Woman Will Make America Great, Because We Sure Can't

God damn America.

Meet Maria Isabel Bueso, a citizen of Guatemala who has a rare genetic illness that was supposed to kill her before she reached her teens. She's 24 and a college graduate -- summa cum laude at that -- because doctors at UC San Francisco's Benioff Children's Hospital invited her to take part in clinical trials of a treatment for her condition when she was just seven years old. It worked, and she and others with the illness are now living decades longer! Talk about an inspiring success story! It was covered by the New York Times and then by the "Rachel Maddow Show" Thursday night.

Say hi to Isabel Bueso fast, before Donald Trump and Stephen Miller send her home to die, because the treatment she needs to stay alive is simply not available in Guatemala. She's yet another of the immigrants who had been allowed to stay in the US due to a "medical deferred action" program that the administration ended this month without announcement.

So yeah, she's alive today because of a treatment that she played a role in developing. And now we need to deport her because America has too many foreigns. Don't worry, though, the experts on Twitter -- who haven't read the story because the New York Times is full of lies -- figure she's an illegal alien who's a criminal and needs to be deported because she just does. Never read the replies.

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Good News! Trump Isn't F*cking Over ALL The Troops And Their Kids. Just SOME Of 'Em!


The Trump administration unleashed a shitstorm of fear and confusion Wednesday when US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) released a tweak to how it processes citizenship for some children born overseas to US military personnel and other government workers. The change would end automatic citizenship for children born overseas to two small groups: military parents who are not yet citizens, and to citizens who may have left the USA as kids and then grown up elsewhere. Their kids can still become citizens, but only after a long application process. But because the policy change wasn't framed very clearly, many military folks and those worried about the administration's ongoing war on immigrants thought the policy would apply to all military families who have kids while deployed overseas, and can you blame them? In this essay we shall argue that the whole wretched mess is yet another example of what we've called the Trump administration's weaponized incompetence. Why just do a policy when you can also maximize fear, uncertainty, and doubt among people you want to scare? There's a lot of confusion out there about what exactly this new policy is supposed to do, and we're fairly sure that uncertainty is part of the plan.

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White House

Trump Has New Idea For Building WALL: What If He Orders People To Commit Crimes For Him?

How is this not high crimes and misdemeanors?

In a follow-up to its earlier reporting on Donald Trump's obsession with making WALL as cruel as possible, the Washington Post published an astonishing story Wednesday on Trump's drive to build WALL before the 2020 election, because he promised WALL, his slob picnic crowds love chanting WALL, and he must have WALL, even if a few laws have to get broken in the process. Greater good and all that.

The story notes Trump has pressured the Army Corps of Engineers to rush contracts for construction, bypassing the normal bidding process, and has told aides to ignore dumb environmental regulations and eminent domain rules too so that private land can be grabbed up and WALLed, for "national security." Trump's goal is a total of 500 miles of WALL by election day 2020, which is going to take some doing. The Army Corps has only built 60 miles of fencing so far -- yes, despite Trump's lies to the contrary --and that's all replacing old sections of fencing in "areas that previously had border infrastructure."

In a completely Trumpian move, officials who attended Trump's frequent meetings on the need to WALL faster said he had promised pardons if anyone had to break some dumb laws in order to build WALL:

When aides have suggested that some orders are illegal or unworkable, Trump has suggested he would pardon the officials if they would just go ahead, aides said. He has waved off worries about contracting procedures and the use of eminent domain, saying "take the land" [...]

"Don't worry, I'll pardon you," he has told officials in meetings about the wall.

"He said people expected him to build a wall, and it had to be done by the election," one former official said.

Asked for comment, a White House official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said Trump is joking when he makes such statements about pardons.

Trump insisted on Twitter Wednesday that the Post had completely "made up" that part, because that's exactly how journalism works. Which sort of makes us wonder why a White House official would say Trump was only joking about that thing he never said at all. (And what's the "joke"? Is he ... not going to pardon people who commit crimes for him? LOL, joke's on them!)

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Trump Kicking Sick Kids Out Of America Now, So They Can Die Elsewhere!

You thought Trump couldn't get any more cruel? Hold his non-alcoholic beer.

The Trump administration's war on immigrants has reached yet another of its logical conclusions. Not satisfied with seeking to deport people to likely death after doing all it can to eliminate asylum for people fleeing war and gangs, the administration is now marking immigrants -- KIDS -- with grave medical conditions for removal from the USA, regardless of whether they can receive life-saving treatment in their home countries. That's what Make America Great Again means now: send people to die. This isn't metaphorical, or a mere possibility. Thousands of people who have been legally staying in the US because they're being treated for serious illnesses are now being told they must leave voluntarily in 33 days or face deportation. Many of them will die, because they can't get the care they need in their home countries. It's not murder, mind you, because they'll still be alive when they're put on the plane here. Besides, some will probably live, those are just the odds.

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States Sue To Keep Trump From Jailing Babies Forever, Because That's Where We Are As A Nation

But 'making kids suffer' polls so well with sociopaths!

Nineteen states and the District of Columbia sued in federal court yesterday to block the Trump administration from moving forward with new rules that would allow migrant kids and their families to be held by ICE indefinitely. The lawsuit, led by California Attorney General Xavier Becerra and Massachusetts Attorney General Maura Healey, seeks to stop Team Trump from gutting the 1997 Flores settlement agreement, which currently sets standards for care of migrant minors in detention. Trump and his immigration Obersturmbannführer Stephen Miller want to get rid of Flores because it says children can't be held in detention more than 20 days, which gets in the way of the administration's goal of locking up all asylum seekers until their cases are completed. Becerra said Monday that aggression will not stand, man:

No child deserves to be left in conditions inappropriate and harmful for their age [...] The actions by this administration are not just morally reprehensible, they're illegal. Children don't become subhuman simply because they are migrants.

The Los Angeles Times notes that this makes the 57th lawsuit California has filed against the administration, and the 13th to involve immigration. Way to go, California!

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Guess Who's Coming Back To Terrorize Immigrants Some More? It's F*cking Joe Arpaio!


Looks like Joe Arpaio wants to return to the torture and abuse immigrant business! On Sunday night, the convicted and later pardoned felon and former sheriff announced his intention to run for his former job in Maricopa County:

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New Trump Rule Will Keep Migrant Families Together -- In Jail! Forever!

'Oh, so now liberals don't want families kept together? Hypocrites.'

The Trump administration will publish new rules Friday aimed at gutting the Flores settlement agreement, the 1997 consent decree that set up rules for how the government can treat migrant children in detention. Stephen Miller will finally realize his dream of getting rid of the Flores provision that prevents the government from imprisoning children for more than 20 days, and a glorious new day will dawn when asylum-seeking families can be imprisoned indefinitely. Eliminating Flores has been one of Miller's top priorities, because he believes that not treating immigrants cruelly enough is the main reason people seek asylum in the first place. Now if Miller and Trump could simply eliminate the courts where the new rules will be challenged, we'd finally have an America to be proud of.

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Pesky Employees Demanding 'Paychecks'? There's An ICE For That, Maybe!

Thanks a lot, ICE!

Just in case you thought there's something awfully hinky about the Trump administration's war on immigrants, here's one more suggestive anecdote: In New York, Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents scooped up an undocumented Chinese worker while he was in the process of testifying in a deposition against his former employer, who he says owes him $200,000 in back wages. Isn't that, as Dana Carvey in drag used to say, convenient?

Add this one to the distinct lack of any charges -- at least not yet -- against the seven chicken processing plants in Mississippi that ICE raided earlier this month, resulting in arrests of nearly 700 undocumented workers. Why, it's almost enough to make a cynic think the goal is to help rotten employers get away with sleazy business practices, it is. Somebody on Fox ought to complain about what a poor moral example Donald Trump is setting for the nation's impressionable capitalists.

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Appeals Court: All God's Children Get Soap

Yes, even if they're in cages. And about those cages...

A federal appeals court has rejected the Trump administration's claim that detained immigrant children don't necessarily need little luxuries like soap, toothbrushes, edible food, or even a place to sleep. In a ruling yesterday, a three-judge panel of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals said the government really and truly does have to comply with the 1997 Flores agreement that sets requirements for how the government treats undocumented children in detention.

Flores requires children be held in "safe and sanitary conditions," but in June, DOJ lawyer Sarah Fabian argued that since the consent decree doesn't specifically define "safe and sanitary," then the government can treat detained kids however it wants, as long as it's not actively injuring them too badly. You're alive and not up to your needs in filth? You're safe and sanitary! Next you'll be complaining the water in cells tastes like bleach, even though bleach is very very sanitary indeed.

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Post-Racial America

Republicans Shocked SHOCKED At Steve King Saying That Part Out Loud

They don't know her!

Oh, NOW the GOP wants to get rid of Steve King? Not when he accused undocumented immigrants of being drug smugglers with "calves the size of cantaloupes"? Not when he referred to the torture of prisoners at Abu Ghraib as "hazing"? Not when he said Muslims shouldn't be allowed to work in meat-packing plants? Not when he suggested cutting food stamps "for people who have not worked in three generations"? Not when he suggested using electrified cattle fences to keep out migrants? Not when he said, "We can't restore our civilization with somebody else's babies"? Not when he referred to Mexican immigrants as "dirt"? Not when he spewed his poison about white genocide and the "great replacement" theory?

All that was merely distasteful, a shame, inappropriate, tut tut. But now that he's facing a rematch against J.D. Scholten, after barely eking out a three-point win in an R+11 district last year, now they want him gone?

There aren't enough jerk off gifs in the world for this bullshit.

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Milwaukee Teens Do Anti-ICE Art, Freak Out The Squares

ABOLISH ... you know the drill!

A Milwaukee Art Museum program for artsy young folks puts art into motion every summer by letting the kids design a mural wrap applied to a bus, or sometimes to a bus shelter. This year, the kids decided to do some current events, and designed a wraparound mural depicting Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officers separating kids from their families, as well as a multi-ethnic we're (almost) all immigrants here message for the back of the bus.

The art pissed off a member of the county board of supervisors, who declared it to be anti-police (sure, though just one federal agency) and "racist," so the kids did a fine job of triggering the cons. Even better, the art museum, which paid the Milwaukee County Transit System for the bus wrap like any other advertiser, backs the kids completely and says it supports the young artists' decision to make art that's meaningful to them.

Let's art!

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Stephen Miller Finally Gets 'F*ck The Poors' Immigration Rule He Always Wanted

Give me your rich, your entrepreneurial, your elites wanting to buy condos from the Kushner Companies.

One of Stephen Miller's top priorities for fucking over America's legal immigration system is finally about to take effect, assuming it survives the many lawsuits that will be thrown at it. The new rule would sharply restrict the ability of low-income people to get permanent residency or even temporary visas by screening out virtually all applicants who have ever used federal assistance like Medicaid, food stamps, or public housing. The rule will be published in the Federal Register Wednesday, and then go into effect in October, despite an overwhelming majority of public comments opposing the change.

The rules are an attempt to inject steroids into a relic of the Immigration Act of 1882, which prohibited immigration by anyone deemed likely to become a "public charge" -- that is, likely to become a burden to the taxpayer. That term was never explicitly defined by Congress, so Miller and his allies in the Trump administration decided it should be defined as restrictively as possible, to keep out anyone who's used any of a whole raft of public assistance programs for any amount of time.

Let's emphasize right up front that this is not about undocumented immigrants: This is an attempt to punish legal migrants who legally received benefits that Congress said they legally qualify for.

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Post-Racial America

Racist Trump Loves Racism, Hates Being Called Racist (Womp Womp, What A Racist!)

This post is about the president's feelings.

Know what Donald Trump hates? Being called a racist. Know what Donald Trump loves? Being racist. What a pickle he is in, if the pickle was wearing a red costume like the grand wizard of the KKK wears!

There are two articles out that are more fun when you put them next to each other. They are about the two subjects we just mentioned.

First up is the Washington Post, which reports that Trump is "vexed" about how to "shed the label" of "racist," which happens to be one of the best labels you can put on the man. (Another good one is "stupidest American in the history of the world." Also "Little Paws.") Apparently he has ALWAYS hated this, even though he has ALWAYS been a big old dumbfuck racist.

"For them to throw out the race word again — racist, racist, racist," Trump told reporters Friday as he departed the White House for a week-long vacation at his private golf club in Bedminster, N.J. "They call anybody a racist when they run out of cards."

Or when they are a racist.

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Border Patrol Guy So Dumb Even Chuck Todd Can Dunk On Him

It's your Sunday Show Rundown!

We begin today with acting (aren't they all?) commissioner of US Customs and Border Protection and gang member clairvoyant Mark Morgan. Appearing on CNN's "State of the Union" with Jake Tapper, Morgan was asked about the ICE raids on chicken processing plants in Mississippi that occurred on the same day Trump was grinning like a jackass while making orphaned newborns come back for photo ops in El Paso, Texas.

Tapper begins by asking Morgan why, if they are focused on "violent criminals," did this raid happen:

MORGAN: Well, so, first of all, I never said that the raids, as you call, were focused on violent criminals. I have never said that. And, also, I think words matter. These aren't raids. These are targeted law enforcement operations. And, in this case, this was a joint criminal investigation with ICE and the Department of Justice targeting work site enforcement, meaning companies that knowingly and willfully hire illegal aliens, so that, in most cases, they can pay them reduced wages, exploit them further for their bottom line.

Interesting theory Morgan has here: In order to investigate a crime, you arrest the victims or those exploited rather than the people actually victimizing or exploiting them. Tapper, just as confused by this strategy, asked a similar question:

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