Chuck Schumer Really Pissed That Most Senate Republicans Are Traitors

But, yet, they are.

The one-term loser's second annual impeachment trial ended as we expected, if we've paid attention, or feared if our heads are stuck in West Wing episode. The Senate failed to convict the insurrectionist in chief, although Democrats gained nine more votes than last time. At this rate, we might finally hold him accountable at the third annual impeachment.

I'm not so cynical that I don't find it dispiriting. After too many trips on the karma-less merry-go-round with Lex Luthor, an alternate universe Superman finally cracked. President Luthor mocked his faith in the system: "You're as much responsible for this as I am. So go ahead, fix it somehow, put me on trial, lock me up, but I'll beat it. And then we'll start the whole thing all over again."

And we will.

Chuck Schumer has received a lot of criticism because he wasn't personally able to awaken consciences in 43 Republican senators. He's the Majority Leader not the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future. People are also frustrated that he didn't go to the mattresses against the GOP, but he's also not Michael Corleone finally settling all family business.

Keep reading... Show less

Your Impeachment Saturday ... Something Or Other, NOBODY KNOWS!

It's a liveblog!

Nobody has any idea what is happening today, your Impeachment the Second Saturday Something. We had thought perhaps closing arguments and a vote on disqualifying that rat bastard from ever holding office again, but, well, maybe a tiny bit of news broke last night, and maybe the (EXQUISITE) House Managers of the Senate's impeachment trial miiiiight just decide they have to call some witnesses. Wouldn't that be terrible! Because Trump's (SAD AND MAD) personal injury attorneys (no really) said some things we might just need to get to the bottom of, about how Donald Trump didn't know no how that his vice president was being hunted by a mob when he tweeted mildly about the coward Mike Pence helping Democrats steal the election, and maybe Tommy Tuberville, who happened to be chatting Trump up at the time, or oh say Kevin McCarthy, who told Rep. Jaime Herrera Beutler that as he screamed at Trump to call off his dogs, Trump replied, "well Kevin, I guess these people are more upset about the election than you are," could shed some light on that?

Anyway, let's start some blog!

Keep reading... Show less
Trump impeachment hearings

Impeachment Liveblog Day 4: Trump's Razzle Dazzle Legal Team Gonna LAW SO HARD

Oh, it's a shitshow and a half.

Last night, Senators Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, and Mike Lee, three of the "jurors" in the ongoing second impeachment trial of Donald Trump, met with Trump's impeachment lawyers behind closed doors.

"We were discussing their legal strategy and sharing our thoughts," Cruz told CNN's Manu Raju.

"I think that's the practice of impeachment. There's nothing about this thing that has any semblance of due process whatsoever," Trump's lawyer David Schoen told the reporter. This from an attorney who stepped out of the hearing yesterday to hop on Fox and whine about the lack of due process and Democrats treating this solemn event as an "entertainment package."

Schoen, an Orthodox Jew, is out for tomorrow during the Sabbath. And after Trump lost his shit over Bruce Castor's disastrous performance Tuesday, he's being sidelined. Which may mean that, lacking an attorney to present tomorrow, Trump's team rests its case today.

Hosanna! Alleluia! And Lord help us. It's time for your Day 4 Impeachment LIVEBLOG!

Keep reading... Show less

Mike Lee Tantrum Reminds Tommy Tuberville Of Hilarious Time Trump Tried To Get Pence Killed

Well, that worked out well.

WTF is Mike Lee whining about now? Here's what Evan wrote in yesterday's liveblog, in case you haven't seen the Utah senator's massive hissy fit at the end of Wednesday's impeachment hearing.

7:29: Oh, surprise, they are quitting for the night! Jamie Raskin says we can come back tomorrow!
First Senator Mike Lee needs to bitch that he does not like how impeachment managers relayed some comments from him, God even fucking knows, Mike Lee needs to go somewhere and shut his fucking face. He says they should be stricken from the record because we're supposed to believe him or something, my God.

Know what you need to do? If you love Wonkette and you love our liveblogs, you need to remember that Wonkette is only funded by you, and click below to give us MONEYS.

7:40: And now Jamie Raskin is making life easier for everybody, withdrawing the Mike Lee thing for now, saying Mike Lee's shit is inconsequential to their case and go eat boners on a Mormon planet in hell (not his words), SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW.

So, what was that about?

Keep reading... Show less

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc