Congress

Republicans: Jan. 6 Commission Must Investigate Black Lives Matter, Antifa, Maybe Benghazi

We almost said 'Hunter Biden,' but that wasn't obviously a joke.

After House Speaker Nacy Pelosi offered some measures to allow greater Republican input on a possible 9/11-style commission on the January 6 insurrection, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy yesterday said he was willing to meet Pelosi halfway, as long as "halfway" means a full six or seven months before the armed invasion of the Capitol and includes things that had nothing at all to do with it. The problem with January 6 is that it makes Donald Trump and his supporters look bad, so for the sake of balance, McCarthy suggested any commission should also investigate the riots that broke out following a small percentage of last year's protests against police murdering Black people.

In reply to a question from a HuffPo reporter, McCarthy "explained,"

I think if you're going to have a commission, you should look at the whole broad spectrum. [...] We just went through a whole summer of riots throughout the city.

What do those have to do with the attempt to overturn the 2020 election? Nothing at all, but you have to look at the larger picture, which is that in order to heal, or at least to give Republicans something to be outraged about too, we need a Whataboutism Commission.

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Military

Biden Promotes Eugene Vindman After Trump Sh*tbirds Tried To Bury Him

Better late than never.

The Great Unfucking continues apace! Yesterday the White House approved the promotion of Lt. Col. Yevgeny "Eugene" Vindman to colonel after Trump and his lackeys tried to torpedo his career in apparent retaliation for his role in the Ukraine impeachment scandal. Which makes TWO nicetimes posts in one day! See, the earth really is healing.

On February 7, 2020, two days after Trump was acquitted in his first impeachment, Eugene and his twin brother Alexander were unceremoniously fired and escorted off the White House grounds when they showed up for work. Subtle! The brothers were among the first to raise the alarm about the former president's "perfect, perfect phone call" in which he threatened to withhold congressionally allocated defense funds if Ukraine wouldn't gin up a fake investigation into Joe Biden and his son. At the time, Eugene was a legal advisor to the National Security Council on which Alexander was the Director of European Affairs.

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Right Wing Extremism

Ohio Militia Woman Stormed Capitol As Insurrectionist-In-Chief’s Very Special Guest, Allegedly!

We are so not surprised.

Former Army Ranger Jessica Watkins, a member of the MAGA mob that stormed the Capitol on January 6, claims she was there as a very special guest of the twice-impeached thug. Watkins's attorney dropped the details in court filings arguing for her release on bond as she awaits trail.

CNN reports:

"On January 5 and 6, Ms. Watkins was present not as an insurrectionist, but to provide security to the speakers at the rally, to provide escort for the legislators and others to march to the Capitol as directed by the then-President, and to safely escort protestors away from the Capitol to their vehicles and cars at the conclusion of the protest," the court filing said on Saturday. "She was given a VIP pass to the rally. She met with Secret Service agents. She was within 50 feet of the stage during the rally to provide security for the speakers. At the time the Capitol was breached, she was still at the site of the initial rally where she had provided security."

Watkins is a member of the far-right Oath Keepers militia. Southern Poverty Law Center classifies Oath Keepers as an extremist group. Secret Service agents meeting Watkins and letting her within 50 feet of the stage where the one-term loser was set to speak is an incredible security failure, but President Klan Robe considers the Oath Keepers, the Proud Boys, and any rightwing militia “his people." And he's right.

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Impeachment

Jim Jordan And Alan Dershowitz Have Thoughts On Trump's Acquittal. They Are Idiot Thoughts.

It's your post-impeachment Sunday show rundown!

What happened on Saturday was disappointing, yet predictable. The Senate, by a margin of 57-43, decided Donald Trump was guilty of the article of impeachment, of inciting the January 6 Capitol attack. Of course, conviction in the Senate requires 67 senators. Most of the Sunday shows hosted House managers and Democratic senators talking about the weekend's events.

The exception, of course, was patient zero of propaganda masquerading as a news channel, Fox News. And no other show gloated more about Trump's "win" that Maria Bartiromo's obnoxious show "Sunday Morning Futures."

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