In Gift To Headline Writers, Feds Bust Romanian Princess's Oregon Cockfighting Ring
In a big image boost for the "sport" of cockfighting, thearrest of a Romanian princess in Eastern Oregon now gives lovers of the blood sport the opportunity to call their brutal pastime the sport of kings. (Then again, they already could, since Iowa congressdouche Steve King just loves him some animal cruelty, too.) We don't think we can top Deadspin's description of the case, so we'll just blockquote it instead:
HRH Princess Irina, third daughter of the exiled King Michael I, fifth in line to the Romanian throne, has been charged with operating a large cockfighting ring out of her ranch in Eastern Oregon, because living in Eastern Oregon will do that to you.
Oh, and Irina's husband, John Wesley Walker, who was also arrested? Retired sheriff's deputy from Coos County, Oregon, which is just down the coast from the little nothing town that Yr Doktor Zoom grew up in. The pair are accused of staging at least 10 cockfighting competitions at their ranch near the mellifluously named town of Irrigon, Oregon.
The Walkers and 26 other suspects were charged in a conspiracy to violate the federal Animal Welfare Act after hosting the "cockfighting derbies," which featured dozens of fights and drew participants from eastern Oregon and southern Washington. By "participants," we mean "people who raise roosters so they can bet on them tearing each other to pieces." Top purses in the matches "sometimes reached into the tens of thousands of dollars," and the Walkers took a 10% cut of all the gambling. A princess has to eat, after all.
Irina's father, the former King of Romania, issued one of those carefully neutral statements that seem to be the lot of deposed monarchs in these sad times:
“His Royal Majesty King Michael I has learned with profound sadness of the events surrounding Princess Irina of Romania, his daughter. His Majesty and the entire royal family hope that the American justice system and the courts of the state of Oregon will solve this case in the fairest and quickest way possible.”
Yr Wonkette shares the royal sentiments, and would only add that this story arrives on the same day as the death of Elmore Leonard, who we'd like to think would have appreciated it.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.