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In Olden Times People Didn't Need BlackBerrys, Or Bailouts

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Back in the day when people printed out the Internet every morning and handed the "House & Garden" section to their wives while they perused the latest news from Cuba, life was fine. Then theBlackBerry Machine came slithering out of Hell's bowels and ruined everything, the end. This is the premise from which every Richard Cohen column proceeds. But hark, what about the days before the Internet, when Europe was riven by two World Wars and Jews had to flee horrible genocide and American citizens could expect to live out their "golden years" (age 35 onward) in abject poverty? Those times were truly great, because people were self-reliant.


The people of the 1920s and '30s were tough, hard. They did not expect all that much from life, and they had learned to expect next to nothing from government.

In contrast, we are soft, coddled.

Yes! So soft and coddled with our Social Security and our interstate highway system. Why, back in the 1930s a gentlemen could just die quietly of influenza, penniless, in a ditch somewhere south of Oklahoma City, and nobody thought anything of it!

Also: Richard Cohen read a review of a book that sounded interesting. The book was written by a European Jew named Stefan Zweig who fled the Nazis and ended up "for some reason" in Brazil and killed himself in despair, like a man. What's the book about? Who knows! But the review was great.

And last, of course, history is like a crazy zoo "beast," "escaped from its cage." You probably thought history was a kind of an ongoing thing, kind of like time itself, but nope, it only surfaces periodically, to eat people.

History Roars Back [Washington Post]

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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

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SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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