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Incompetent D.C. Government Crooked (Also: PBR)

Wonkabout

It's been a while since we've explored the backwards world that is D.C. politics, so here goes: Some five months ago, when bike lanes and education were still the rage, Adrian Fenty, champion of white-people causes, was Mayor of D.C. But one can only get so far when backed by the PBR lobby, and so he was replaced by Vincent Gray who,it turns out, (allegedly) paid another man to try to undermine Fenty's campaign in return for a job. Whoops! In some circles this is illegal/ generally not a good idea. But let's focus on the more important things. D.C. has a new PBR dispensary: Touchdown on U Street.


D.C. may be well on its way to being “One City” plagued by corporation, cronyism, et cetera and so forth, but PBR is reasonably priced at this new sports bar on U Street.

Can you figure out what is missing from this wall at Touchdown? (Hint: There are 14 other ones in the bar.) That's right! It needs a fifteenth teevee here, for the sports.

Pretty soon, we're going to run out of things to put in mac and cheese. Maybe. Please? Though this combination works surprisingly well.

Look at those teevees in all their glory. But what is that beneath the teevee? Could that be art? While you take refuge in the bar for hours on the nicest of spring days, to watch football, cricket, dodge ball, or the exotic anti-American sport known as soccer, at least there will be some nice art nestled in the glare of flatscreen teevee for you to enjoy.

Touchdown opens today with 25% off all drafts, rail drinks, and food. They will also be offering other specials to mark the ancient celebration of boobs, beads, and booze affectionately referred to as “Fat Tuesday.”

Touchdown, 1334 U St. NW, Washington, DC 20009, 202-265-0708

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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