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Incredible Coca-Cola Job Offer To Everyone Probably Not Legitimate

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With more than 150,000 peoplelosing their jobs every week in the United States and millions more being laid off around the world, the scams are getting ridiculous. Take this message from "hr@coca-cola.com," which we just received: Coca-Cola is hiring all over the world, full-time positions, great pay and benefits, etc. Just fill out the attached form with all your personal information!


Complete with a bunch of pilfered Coca-Cola graphics touting various global initiatives and partners, the scheme basically promises you a life of secure work and great pay and health care and two months of paid vacation -- you know, the impossible:

We are hiring!

Are you out of job?

Your current job isn't paying enough?

You don't have proper eductaion for high positions?

At Coca Cola everything is possible! We have the budget to hire anyone from any country where our company is present. All you need to do is fill out the form we have attached and get ready to bring your career to the next level and triple your current salary!

Our company offers excellent benefits such as 60 days paid vacation, company car, health insurance for you and for your family, option to work from home and friendly work environment.

We have open positions in Sales, Marketing, Information Technology, Accounting, Logistics, Engineering, Quality Assurance and much more.

None of the positions require any kind of education or work experience!

See, we don't need that socialist Barack Obama's fancy "health care" and "education" and "green jobs" and whatever! The corn-syrup water will save the planet.

(Note to sad gullible people who come across this post by searching MSN for "Coca Cola hiring": The email in question is a scam, and the Russian/Nigerian criminals behind it just want your personal information so they can try to use your identity to get credit cards -- which would be a pretty good scheme if credit cards were still available to desperate jobless people.)

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Well folks, we think we have a geopolitical relations first for an American president. We might need to consult with Doris Kearns Goodwin or Kevin Kruse, but we cannot recall a time one of America's purported enemies OR friends has called the president of the United States "retarded" or anything along those lines. We remember leaders hating American presidents. We remember them recoiling like UGH GET OFF ME when an American president tried to give them a friendly sensual love massage during the G8. We remember them literally attacking our democratic elections in order to prevent the inaugurations of potential presidents they despise and fear. But we don't remember anything like this.

President Hassan Rouhani of Iran, commenting on Donald Trump after the Trump administration threw some new sanctions at Iran on Monday:

Iran warned Tuesday that new U.S. sanctions targeting its supreme leader and other top officials meant "closing the doors of diplomacy" between Tehran and Washington amid heightened tensions, even as President Hassan Rouhani derided the White House as being "afflicted by mental retardation."

Here is the full quote, in case you were wondering if something was lost in translation, like that time Vladimir Putin called Trump "brilliant" and Trump was so excited he left a ring of orange jizz around the bathtub, but what Putin actually said in Russian more accurately translates as "colorful" or "shiny." There's no confusion here:

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John Sanders high-fives a child who is not in a filthy border jail run by his agency. (US CBP photo)

The news is coming at us so fast we have to double up stories -- like little children being crammed into border detention cells without enough blankets for everyone, that is what it is like. Tuesday, we learned Acting Customs and Border Protection Commissioner John Sanders, who has only been in the job for two months, will resign effective July 5, and will be replaced by current Acting ICE Director Mark Morgan.

The news of Sanders's resignation came by pure coincidence just hours after a CBP official told the Washington Post that 100 children would be returned to a Border Patrol detention facility in Clint, Texas; this was quite a surprise given that CBP had rushed to get over 300 kids out of that same border jail starting Monday, after lawyers reported the kids were filthy and poorly fed, and that the care of very young children had been left to slightly older kids -- like seven and eight years old. Probably just a coincidence that Sanders is deserting ship just as the news is full of just how horrible those baby jails were -- in this administration, that's something to be proud of.

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