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Incredible Coca-Cola Job Offer To Everyone Probably Not Legitimate

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With more than 150,000 peoplelosing their jobs every week in the United States and millions more being laid off around the world, the scams are getting ridiculous. Take this message from "hr@coca-cola.com," which we just received: Coca-Cola is hiring all over the world, full-time positions, great pay and benefits, etc. Just fill out the attached form with all your personal information!


Complete with a bunch of pilfered Coca-Cola graphics touting various global initiatives and partners, the scheme basically promises you a life of secure work and great pay and health care and two months of paid vacation -- you know, the impossible:

We are hiring!

Are you out of job?

Your current job isn't paying enough?

You don't have proper eductaion for high positions?

At Coca Cola everything is possible! We have the budget to hire anyone from any country where our company is present. All you need to do is fill out the form we have attached and get ready to bring your career to the next level and triple your current salary!

Our company offers excellent benefits such as 60 days paid vacation, company car, health insurance for you and for your family, option to work from home and friendly work environment.

We have open positions in Sales, Marketing, Information Technology, Accounting, Logistics, Engineering, Quality Assurance and much more.

None of the positions require any kind of education or work experience!

See, we don't need that socialist Barack Obama's fancy "health care" and "education" and "green jobs" and whatever! The corn-syrup water will save the planet.

(Note to sad gullible people who come across this post by searching MSN for "Coca Cola hiring": The email in question is a scam, and the Russian/Nigerian criminals behind it just want your personal information so they can try to use your identity to get credit cards -- which would be a pretty good scheme if credit cards were still available to desperate jobless people.)

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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