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Gov. Mike Pence


Indiana ladies, have you been feeling neglected and unloved? You see governors and legislatures putting the screws to your sisters in other states, and you probably wonder where the heck is your edible fruit basket of legislative love, don't you? You know you do. Not to worry, girls, Republican Gov. Mike Pence and his GOP bros have rectified that so open up and say "Ahhhh!" to this wootastic golden shower of attention:

Indiana’s governor signed a bill on Thursday that adds broad limits to women’s access to abortions, banning those motivated solely by the mother’s objection to the fetus’s race, gender or disability, and placing new restrictions on doctors.

But wait, you're thinking right now because you're smart like that, doesn't Indiana already have all the abortion restrictions? Yes, yes it does:

  • A woman must receive state-directed counseling that includes information designed to discourage her from having an abortion and then wait 18 hours before procedure is provided. Counseling must be provided in person and must take place before the waiting period begins, thereby necessitating two separate trips to the facility.
  • Abortion is covered in private insurance policies only in cases of life endangerment, rape, incest or if the woman's health is severely compromised unless an optional rider is purchased at an additional cost.
  • Health plans that will be offered in the state’s health exchange under the Affordable Care Act can only cover abortion in cases when the woman's life is endangered, her health is severely compromised, rape or incest.
  • Abortion is covered in insurance policies for public employees only in cases of life endangerment, rape or incest or when her heath is severely compromised.
  • The use of telemedicine for the performance of medication abortion is prohibited.
  • The parent of a minor must consent before an abortion is provided.
  • Public funding is available for abortion only in cases of life endangerment, physical health, rape or incest.
  • A woman must undergo an ultrasound before obtaining an abortion; the provider must offer her the option to view the image.
  • An abortion may be performed at or after 20 weeks postfertilization (22 weeks after the woman’s last menstrual period) only if the woman’s life or physical health is endangered, based on the spurious assertion that a fetus can feel pain at that point.

But danged if Pence and pals haven't invented some new reasons -- that are, fun fact, not real reasons -- to further restrict abortion. Sorry if you want to kill your baby because she is a black girl-baby of Irish descent and you are racist against girls and sexist against black Irishes, but that's how much Pence loves the least among us, inside of our wombs:

The bill, he said in his signing statement, “will ensure the dignified final treatment of the unborn and prohibits abortions that are based only on the unborn child’s sex, race, color, national origin, ancestry or disability, including Down syndrome.”

[contextly_sidebar id="STrPl9ecRNF3aU0pqtexnDuMsUj1fzLv"]The only question for Pence is whether it's OK to kill your baby if it is a gay-fetus baby. We figure he'd probably be just dandy with that, since it was almost precisely a year ago that he signed a bill protecting the religious right to discriminate against gaysexuals. When the rest of America pulled down its pants to take a dump on Pence's head, he had some second thoughts about it, sort of, and claimed he didn't mean to look like a raging bigot; he's just an idiot, is all, who had no idea what he was doing.

Maybe that's what he should say about this new law too. It's far more believable.

[NYT / Guttmacher Institute]

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I'd mentioned this week that there's definitely probably a tape out there of Donald Trump referring to a black person as a "nigger," because Trump is a racist and that's sort of what they do. Sarah Huckabee Sanders won't even affirmatively deny such a tape exists, and she's from the "two plus two equals five" school of communications management. I also speculated that once the tape was released, Republican supporters of the president would flock to defend his vile words: "Hey, if you rearrange the letters in "nigger," you get "ginger" and who doesn't like redheads and the occasional Dark 'n' Stormy?"

The shameful display has already started and the supposed recording isn't even available for pre-order on iTunes. George State Senator Michael Williams stated in appearance on CNN's "New Day Saturday" that if Trump -- who's the president, by the way -- did say "nigger," it would certainly concern him as an "individual" but "not necessarily as a person that is running our country." So, uh, what the hell is that? This has been a standard argument from Republicans ever since Trump crawled his way out of the sewers of birtherism and onto a major political stage: "We think Trump is a terrible human being -- seriously, we have to shower immediately after meeting with him -- but we still think he's a suitable steward of the most powerful nation on the planet."

Normally, you'd think this would work the other way. You know, your brother-in-law is a nice enough guy. Your sister certainly could've done worse. You don't mind the slightly rambling sports-ball discussions with him at family gatherings. He's good for looking after the kids (as long as your sister is present or reachable by cell), but you'd never invest your hard-earned money into whatever half-assed business venture he's trying to get off the ground nor would you back his run for any serious political office.

I've long had issues with the "brilliant asshole" archetype in TV and movies. It's almost always a white male (because women and minorities must be perfect) whose emotional immaturity and overall jerkass behavior we're told to overlook because they're so goshdarned awesome. Do you want some PC "cuck" or do you want Dr. House to figure out that the MS symptoms you're suffering are really just because you ate a stale doughnut? Sherlock Holmes doesn't have time for your feelings or social niceties -- not while he's solving mysteries and being dreamy.

Trump, however, isn't "brilliant." He's just a guy who says "nigger." They're hardly a scarcity in the market. You don't even have to venture out to a klan rally to find one. You can order online -- same day social media delivery.

Williams argues that Trump didn't use the word "nigger" when he was in the "office of the president." It was just some youthful indiscretion when he was almost 60. I don't even know where he's going with this. Does he think Trump has changed? He routinely insults and belittles black people. He also calls black NFL players who peacefully protest "sons of bitches." Was that his way of weaning off calling us "niggers"? Has he been wearing a "nigger" patch on his arm to control his cravings for the racial epithet?

"He used the word in his personal life," Williams said. (It was actually in a workplace context -- SER) "Now if he were president and were to go on TV and use the n-word, I'd have a major problem with that."

media.giphy.com

It's heartening repulsive to see that Williams draws the line at Trump holding an official "nigger" press conference. I think once we reach that point, Trump will probably also reveal that his buddies on the Supreme Court discovered a typo in the Thirteenth Amendment and black folks' work-life balance will start to really suffer.

"I will always say using the n-word is wrong, and it's bad, and should never be accepted in our society. But just because (Trump) might have done it years ago, not as our president, doesn't mean we need to continue to berate him because he used it," GOP state Sen. Michael Williams, who is white, told CNN's Victor Blackwell on "New Day Saturday."

Blackwell, who is black, had to sit there and listen to this crap from a white elected official who is just 45 years old. You know, the word "nigger" doesn't even appear in the Dred Scott decision, for example, but that's not necessary for reasonable people to understand that it was racist as hell. We all know Trump is racist, but now Republicans can't even repudiate the worst demonstrations of his racial animus. The first black president hasn't even been out of office for two full years and already "nigger" is being redefined. What would once end a campaign in its tracks when Blackwell and I were growing up is now just an "oops, my bad."

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Conservatives want to be oppressed. Or, rather, for everyone to think they are being oppressed and to then give them what they see as the impunity and moral upper hand that comes along with being an oppressed group of people. They want it very, very badly and think it is very unfair that all the people they have oppressed have this privilege and they do not. This morning, Trump took to Twitter to vow to protect them from the worst kind of oppression of all -- imaginary social media censorship!

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