Oh, sure, there's a lot that's terrible about Indiana's new awful "religious freedom" law, what with the legalized discriminating and the basic slap in the face to the spirit of the Civil Rights Act. But that doesn't mean that there are no silver linings, or at least leafy green ones, as an enterprising Indianan, Bill Levin, has filed paperwork (Zig-Zag brand, no doubt) to form the First Church of Cannabis Inc. with the Indiana Secretary of State's office.

So far, the church seems mostly to consist of a Facebook page promoting the "Cannabiterian" faith, which urges everyone to take their "morning prayer puffs," with the promise of a crowdsourcing site yet to come, although we haven't yet seen a link. Still, you have to be impressed with their straightforward pricing structure for creating an instant church hierarchy (ha! ha! HIGHER-archy, more like!):

Individual Membership Donations $4.20 per month

Donate $ 100 or more and become a GREEN ANGEL.

Donate $ 500 or more and become a GOLD ANGEL

Donate $1000 or more and become a CHURCH POOHBA

Our first goal is to lease a building to pray in. Creating THE CHURCH.

Ultimately I see a HOUSE OF HEMP built with Love by Hoosiers for all to participate in. We will offer family services to help those in need. We will reach our hands out to those that need it. We will love, honor and respect each other.

We will celebrate "ONE UNIVERSAL LOVE" in our daily lives.

LOVE is the cornerstones of this church. ALL WELCOMED!

Thy bong and thy Zippo they guideth me, and maketh me to lie down in green pastures and wonder where I can get some Twinkies. In keeping with some Old Testament doctrines, we assume that virtually all moral offenses will be forgiven once the sinner is stoned.

The Cannabitarians may soon face competition, as the Colorado-based GreenFaith Ministry is also reportedly looking into expanding its reach (and consciousness) into Indiana.

The buzzkills at Scripps Media note that marijuana is currently illegal in Indiana for both personal and medical use, and that while the Indiana Religious Freedom Restoration Act bars the state from "substantially burdening" citizens' exercise of religion, the narcs at the U.S. Supreme Court have held that state and federal government have a "compelling interest" in prohibiting marijuana use, no matter how much religious language it's dressed up in, which is just tyranny, man. (Funtime note: it was Antonin Scalia who wrote for the majority in Employment Division v. Smith, which started the FRFA ball rolling back in the '90s, that as long as your law was generally and neutrally applicable, you couldn't claim a religious right to break it.) And as soon as they get up off the couch, the stoner activists of the First Church of Cannabis are going to do something about it, probably.

Or maybe Stoner Jebus will look upon the gay-discriminating side of the law and see that verily, it is bogus, and an abomination unto Him.

[First Church of Cannabis on Facebook / Indy Politics / ABC 7 via tip from "Jeff"]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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