Inside the Bubble Awards: Notes and Clarifications

Thanks to all of you who have already voted in the Inside the Bubble Awards. We can't help but notice that many Wonkette readers, whether they know it or not, are confused about the awards.

First of all, answers to some infrequently asked questions:

Q: Is the "Cox News Service" what I think it is?

A: No, Jeff Gannon was not, ah, member. Also, has nothing to do with me.

Q: Can't you just have an "Anotonin Scalia Memorial Blanket Vote for David Gregory in All Categories Irrespective of All Logic and Legal Precedent" option instead of having to click on his name each time? It saved the conservatives lots of time in Bush v. Gore and it's a lot easier than actually counting votes.

A: Sorry, our goal is to make this difficult and confusing. If we could figure out how to make it a butterfly ballot, we would. And who said we were counting votes?

Answers to frequently asked questions after the jump.

Q: How do I vote?

A: With your conscience. Unless you actually want to participate, in which case, cut and paste the ballot into an email and somehow indicate the candidate of your preference -- with a check mark, bolding, by deleting other names, something. You can also perform a Santeria ritual, but that's hard to send as an attachment.

Q: Heard of balloting software?

A: Only rumors on the internets. Seriously: This is Gawker Media. We still use yaks to deliver email. "Balloting software"? Oh my.

Q: How were these nominees figured out anyway.

A: a lot of people responded actually and then I ignored them.

Q: Can I write in a candidate?

A: Sure. It doesn't mean that it counts.

Q: If a category is named after someone does that mean we can't vote for them?

A: Namesakes can win their own categories. Does this mean your vote will count? Next question.

Q: Who can vote?

A: Anyone can vote, it doesn't mean...

Q: Wait, this is starting to sound like the real election.

A: It's true. Results will be tabulated by Diebold, winners selected by dark-robed old people with an ax to grind.

Q: Why aren't there any bloggers on list?

A: If we turned this into an "are bloggers journalists?" panel we'd have to have it at the Press Club and everyone would be bored.

Q: I'm in the White House press corps but worried you'll run what I send under my name.

A: Then you must not have heard about the wonders of Hotmail. And, really, Olivier, you can trust me.

Q: I've got water stains on my nice coffee table. How do I get rid of them?


1. Apply a small amount of non-gel toothpaste to a damp, clean, lint-free cloth.

2. Rub toothpaste over the water spot.

3. Remove film with a clean, damp cloth.

4. Dry with a clean, dry cloth.

5. Polish.

And use a coaster next time!

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Is there ANY good news for the bumblefucking Trump re-election campaign these days? Their polling numbers are in the shitter, therefore Trump is firing the pollsters. Trump's Hitler rally kickoff event in Florida last night was ... whatever it was. Oh, and did we mention that they ain't got no money? Like, of course, not counting whatever Russian money they're not telling us about.

Don Jr. recently called a prominent donor and warned that Trump's money haul is falling behind where Barack Obama was early in his reelection, while Jared Kushner has privately complained to RNC chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel that Trump's war chest is not as big as it should be at this point in the cycle.

Whiiiiiiiiiine. Guess they're gonna have to see if they can launder some rubles somewhere, ALLEGEDLY.

Gabe Sherman has some more bad news about Trump's shithole campaign, and it is that Robert and Rebekah Mercer, the father-daughter billionaire duo who bankrolled much of Trump's "victory" in 2016 -- including funding Breitbart, and also the part of the "victory" that comprised Cambridge Analytica, the data company they owned that may have done some real hinky stuff, possibly with Russia, in order to get Trump "elected" -- have zipped up their checkbooks and decided Trump can go eat dicks for all they care.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

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