• "I'm Ellen DeGeneres, and this 'Nightline.'" Ha! Everyone says "not happening" but it sounds as good as the fruity "nightclub" act ABC was trying out not too long ago. [Page Six]

• Even Alessandra Stanley hates "The Situation." Harsh realm, Mr. Carlson! [NYT]

• Who killed Buster Rabbit? Jerry Lewis. The other Jerry Lewis. [LA Weekly]

• "But, gosh, ABC had George Lopez," and other reasons The Note snarked too soon about ABC's coverage of the President's Ft. Bragg address. [TVNewser]

— WONKETTE