Intern 'Appreciation' Week: Rewards For Excellence In Stapling


They're everywhere by now. The interns. Stapling, filing, eating, breathing, doing things that only they think are important. But being in intern is hard -- Intern Riley worked for this four-star publication and even he barely made it out of DC alive. But what if the 20,000 or so of them who flock to DC every summer actuallyrock. As in, internsROCK? Well, someone decided that they do, and now the little bitches get discounts all over DC from June 11-18 for being so, useful?

InternsROCK is an initiative of The Washington Center and MTV U. For eight days interns will get discounts at a bunch of different restaurants, bars, and theaters in DC- -- from the ever so trashy Front Page to the ever so classy Phillips Collection. Yes, this hardworking youth group is getting their very own promotions. But at least this means that the interns will be well rounded, well fed and extremely cultured, which has to be a good thing, right?

Interns must show “proof of internship” (A pay stub? Ha Ha, no. Maybe that nifty red badge, or evidence of their recently contracted STD?) in order to get the InternsROCK wristband that will qualify them for the discounts. That’s right, we said wristband. As if it wasn’t already easy enough to know who is an intern, it just got exponentially easier. Though we hope the wristband is removable or that they can at least get more than one, as it will probably get all moldy and gross in the DC humidity. INTERNS: PLEASE wash the area around your wristband.

Seriously, if you’re an intern and you don’t take advantage of this deal, you deserve every mean/rude/scandalous thing that has ever been said about you. This is an excellent opportunity to experience DC in a way that most young professionals can hardly afford to. (Note: even if interns do take advantage of the deal, you can still point and laugh at them when they do idiotic things, like say they run the free world, when everyone knows it's those twenty-somethings who do so.) This also means that if there were ever a time to avoid intern hot spots, it would be during these eight days.

Okay your Wonkabout will now follow departed Editor Jim Newell’s first rule and stop not making fun of college-age kids. At least for a month or so .…


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