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Intern Riley's Heart Broken At Congressional Baseball Game

News

We will post a thorough report later this evening of last night'sWonkette Field Trip to the annual Congressional Baseball Game, but until then, here's the story of how a little boy's heart was torn to shreds. All Intern Riley -- clad in his finest pink "Sting" sweater -- wanted at this game was a photograph with the Republican team's mascot, Orange John Boehner. Riley even offered him a friendly Hitler salute! But just before Riley's turn for dream-realization came up, Boehner cut off all photos. Is this how an orange professional sports mascot is supposed to treat children?

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Screenshot- CBS News

We might not have been separating children from their parents, but we MAYBE, POSSIBLY, were torturing them physically and emotionally, according to the ACLU.

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Guys! Gals! Non-binaries! Have you gotten around to reading Julia Ioffe's new profile of Donald Trump Jr. in GQ? We have, and it is delicious. Read it for the art alone, which you will have to click over to see for yourself, because we don't want to steal the thunder of this one chap Nigel Buchanan, who drew the most HILARIOUS picture of Dipshit curled up in a ball literally in his dad's shadow. But also read it for the hilarious anecdotes Ioffe tells, of how Junior is a really sucky person whose father doesn't love him! We already kinda knew Daddy has never loved him all that much -- hell, just follow Ashley Feinberg on Twitter, as she chronicles the social media evidence of that each and every day. And we already know he sucks really hard -- like did you hear about how everybody called him Diaper Don in college because of how much he peed on himself all the time, ALLEGEDLY?

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