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Introducing the Washington Times' New Unoffensive Style Guide

New Washington Times editor John Solomon was brought in recently to legitimize the paper's operations and bring back the cutting journalism of its Golden Days. This should be a very, very easy task. Solomon got off to a good start yesterday when the paper reported that the military-industrial complex is worried about Obama's inexperience at declaring wars. We hope these brilliant investigate reports continue, for America's safety. On a more symbolic level, however, Solomon has changed aspects of the Times' style guide to reflect modern society's general dislike of racism, sexism and homophobia. How soft have these Moonies gone?


We believe "illegal Mexicans" is the PC flavor du jour, but it's a step in the right direction:

1) Clinton will be the headline word for Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton.

2) Gay is approved for copy and preferred over homosexual, except in clinical references or references to sexual activity.

3) The quotation marks will come off gay marriage (preferred over homosexual marriage).

4) Moderate is approved, but centrist is still allowed.

5) We will use illegal immigrants, not illegal aliens.







Wow, American values really are changing -- the Washington Times prefers gay marriage over something!

Changing Times [Michael Calderone]

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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