Yesterday, we learned that Medicaid inadvertently provides convicted rapists and other violent sex offenders in New York with free hard-on pills. Today, Senator Chuck Grassley (R - Iowa) introduced legislation to eliminate "lifestyle" drugs like Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra for all Medicare and Medicaid recipients.
Or to put it another way: "Hey, poor people, quit bitching. You can still suck!" At first glance, Grassley's bill act seems like a conservative no-brainer: It's anti-sex, it's fiscally responsible, and it fits in nicely with President Bush's recent calls to privatize massive, rock-hard erections via a "bonership society" that encourages people to take control of their own ball-draining fuck sessions. But if poor people spend less time enjoying high-quality, pharmacologically enhanced orgasms, they might spend more time voting. Thus, we're expecting hard-line liberals to champion the bill, and savvier Republicans to push for a compromise. For example: no Viagra if you're poor and impotent, but you get some bukkake DVDs from the DOJ's porn collection. And if you're poor, impotent, and blind? A phone call from Bill O'Reilly. — GREG BEATO
No More Free Viagra for Rapists [USA Today]