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Iowa Was Surely God's Favorite Damn State Yesterday Because Brave Governor Signed Big Damn Prayer Proclamation

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If the Midwest felt especially blessed yesterday, it's no doubt because the entire state of Iowa wasbasking in the smug satisfaction of a "day of prayer, fasting and repentance." Gov. Terry Branstad signed a proclamation back in April designating Monday a special Christian Repentence Day, because he is just like George Washington, and also anyone who thinks the First Amendment prohibits governors from proclaiming special prayer days can go suck balls. People like official prayer, and this is America, where the Constitution is everything, except when some atheist says it means government isn't supposed to host church services.


The proclamation, which Branstad signed on his wife's birthday in April, reads,

NOW, THEREFORE, I, Terry E Branstad, as Governor of the State of Iowa, do hereby invite all Iowans who choose to join in the thoughtful prayer and humble repentance according to II Chronicles 7:14 in favor of our state and nation to come together on July 14, 2014.

Iowa was one of several states participating in something called "Pray 7/14/14," after II Chronicles 7:14, which offers this hopeful but rather nonspecific promise to believers:

[I]f my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

In video from the event, the woman introducing Branstad assured attendees that they were "blessed" to have a governor who has the "courage to fear God more than Man," because apparently any governor who caters to the religious impulses of their constituents is taking a huge risk, probably from those who might openly say mean things. Branstad and Lt. Gov. Kim Reynold both spoke at the event; Branstad said that in his office, he has a painting of George Washington on kneeling in prayer (though presumably not in his Masonic attire), as well as another painting of Abraham Lincoln praying. Lt. Gov Reynold congratulated the crowd for “standing up for our rights, and for individual liberties.” The blandly Christian prayers carefully invoked God without getting excessively sectarian, and were accompanied by the sort of tuneless keyboard noodling that seems mandatory during Fundagelical services.