Iraq to Attack Arizona
Tucson, Arizona news station KOLD has received an FBI alert warning Southern Arizona of an invasion by Iraqis. Shit! I thought Bush said we fight them over there so we don't have to fight them here? This policy somehow doesn't add up!
The rebel Iraqis have found a secret, previously unimaginable way into the United States: The usually impenetrable border with Mexico:
KOLD News 13 is the only news outlet to obtain this FBI urgent report outlining a possible terrorist threat right here in southern Arizona. It speaks specifically to Fort Huachuca in Sierra Vista.
The document gives no timetable or explanation of how the threat will be carried out. But does say, "a group of Iraqis may have entered the United States through tunnels from Mexico into Arizona," and those same "Iraqis are believed to be the ones who will perpetrate the attack on Fort Huachuca."
C'mon, Bush, declare war on something before it's too late! Let's figure this out together. If Iraqis are attacking us, then we should unilaterally invade... hmm... Greece? Greece has WMDs and is friends with Osama! Shock and awe motherfucker.