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WARBLOGGING

GOP Senators Actually Pissed At Trump Over Iran Briefing, Will Go Back To Being Cowards Tomorrow

Oh NOW Republicans are mad?

Utah GOP Senator Mike Lee is mad. He described Wednesday's briefing on the Qasem Soleimani killing as "probably the worst briefing I've seen at least on a military issue in the nine years I've served in the United States Senate." Enraged at getting the brush off from defense officials, Lee says that he and Rand Paul will now support Democrat Tim Kaine's Resolution to stop President Trump unilaterally bumbling us into a war with Iran.

Just lookit him come out of the SCIF all pissed off and sweaty after Mike Pompeo and Mark Esper tried to run the rope-a-dope on him!

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WARBLOGGING

Liveblogging Trump Taking Responsibility For Latest F*ckup Hahahahahahaha Just Kidding

Trump will address the nation after last night's Iranian strikes aimed at American troops. Whatever he says, it'll embarrass the shit out of you.

If you haven't heard, Iran retaliated last night for Donald Trump's dumbass, poorly thought out targeted killing of Maj. Gen. Qasem Soleimani. Today, Donald Trump will respond to the strike and tell us his Iran plans and make us all feel better and haha just kidding, we just said Trump has "plans" and implied Donald Trump will "make us all feel better."

Anyway, Donald Trump is going to address the nation in just a few minutes. We should liveblog his stupid idiot face, we guess.

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WARBLOGGING

Relax, Everyone, The Stable Genius Is In Charge

Iran shot missiles at American troops last night. Thank goodness Dear Leader is so ... oh fuck.

Tuesday night, or in the wee hours of Wednesday morning if you happen to be in the Middle East right now, Iran began its retaliation for Donald Trump's targeted killing of Maj. Gen. Qasem Soleimani. And maybe Iran also finished its retaliation for the killing. The Iranian military targeted two Iraqi military bases that house American troops, but so far, we haven't heard that there were casualties, and we hope it stays that way.

Anyway, it's fine.

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iraq

Defense Department Announces NO PLAN For Iraq. It Can't Fail!

What the hell was that?

To call what happened yesterday at the Defense Department a dumpster fire would be a massive understatement. Truly it was such an epic clusterfuck that, in any normal administration, half the leadership would have hired lawyers already amid bipartisan congressional demands for an independent investigation. But with Commander Crazypants going apeshit in the Oval, it'll probably wind up being just a one-day story.

As best we can work out, around noon in DC an Iraqi media outlet run by the pro-Iranian militia group Asaib Ahl al-Haq, which has fought Americans in Iraq and Syria for more than a decade, published a letter from United States Marine Corps Brig. Gen. William H. Seely III, commander of America's Iraq Task Force, to his counterpart in the Iraqi Ministry of Defense. In an apparent reference to Sunday's parliamentary vote to ask America to withdraw its military, it read, "Sir, in due deference to the sovereignty of the Republic of Iraq, and as requested by the Iraqi Parliament and the Prime Minister, CJTF-OIR will be repositioning forces over the course of the coming days and weeks to prepare for onward movement."

By 2:40, Agence France Presse reported that the US was pulling out of Iraq, and by 3 p.m., every major news outlet in the world had the story.

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