Undeterred by losing the War in Iraq and the War on Christmas, Bill O'Reilly has launched a new jihad on people who have iPods. "I don't own an iPod," O'Reilly said on his radio show. "I would never wear an iPod."

Why? Because, says Bill, "The jihadists? They're not playing the video games. They're killing real people over there."

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Meanwhile, Fox News says it's got a new show that's just like "The Daily Show," but making fun of liberals. If they launch a parody of "The Colbert Report," Earth will implode.

O'Reilly: iPods Are Endangering America [Think Progress]

Fox News Channel preps right-leaning satire [Hollywood Reporter]