Is Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 WORKING HARD, Or HARDLY WORKING?

Weekly Top Ten

Hello! Welcome to Saturday if you did not know it was Saturday, and why would you? We hope you're keeping safe, and as always, if you need a hand, email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com, and let us know what we can do for you. That includes cash money, if you need it! Or if you need an ear, like our Wonk pal whose husband, a contractor, could not get home from the Middle East and then this week HE GOT HOME FROM THE MIDDLE EAST!!!1! oh where was this sentence going, RIGHT, if you need an ear, I GOT TWO OF EM.

Oh, she wrote such a beautiful letter, keening with hope and grief, and NOW SHE IS BETTER! How happy I am!

Now, as we do around these parts on Saturdays (really I am typing on Friday night, and if it is Saturday, which it is, I am off for the day except for bookkeeping and thank you notes, and just Robyn is in charge and mining away in the wonk mines for terrible stories to delight and outrage you), we count down the TOP 10 WONKETTE STORIES OF THE WEEK! We do this so you will have something to comment near, actually. Did you know in the Before Days Wonkette didn't exist on weekends? That is a true thing I just remembered.


I'm so tired you guys. WONK COUNTDOWN! TOP STORIES! CHOOSED BY ALL FOUR OF MY DOGS, I am just joshing you, they are very stupid dogs. They cannot read or even talk English. Pfft, don't even know how to get the beer out of the fridge, THEY AIN'T GOT NO HANDS.

Stories. Just assume Evan wrote all of them except for the ones Dok and SER and Robyn wrote.

1. Sit The Hell Down Meghan McCain, And Listen To A Fable

2. Lord Bless And Keep New Orleans As A New Storm Comes

3. What's Great About The New York Times Is How Pompously Bad At Everything They Are

4. Fox News Idiots Not Sure People Even In Hospital With Coronavirus, SAYS WHO?

5. If Devin Nunes Doesn't Get To Play Outside Soon, He Might Just Sue A LIVE COW

6. Rush Limbaugh So Mad At Deep State Coronavirus Liars Like Dr. Fauci, He Just Might Die!

7. You're Gonna Need A Bigger Nice Things

8. Is Trump Cutting Off Michigan's Nose To Spite Their Governor's Face? Probably!

9. Help! The 'New Yorker' Has Committed A Murder!

10. Slumlord Jared Kushner Will Keep His NYC Buildings Fully Stocked With Mold, Roaches During Pandemic

Thank you for sticking around, we love you a lot. You got WORKING HARD at the top now you get HARDLY WORKING.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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