[contextly_sidebar id="6krFgFa4zSZvbZc3dpMf4Ed4ie5BCWBZ"]We have been waiting for this moment since forever, or at least since April, and now it is here. IT IS FINALLY HERE! At midnight o'clockish, throughout this galaxy, Star Wars: The Force Awakens like a mofo, and we will mayyyyyyyyyybe have make-up sex with the greatest story ever told, depending on whether it is FREAKIN' AWESOME like the episodes of our childhood (shut up, that's how we remember them), or whether George Lucas and his revisionist history and his entire franchise, especially that fucking plush toy YOU KNOW WHO, can die in a fire forever.

Are we going to give you spoilers? Fuck no! What are we, sociopaths who belong in jail, for being first-degree dicks, which, while not technically a crime, should be a crime, for obvious?

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Damn straight, Philly PD. And we are not that guy, so we will not spoil your fun, hell no. We are SEXCITED just like you to stand on line for all the many hours, tickets in hand that we purchased months in advance because duh, as we pray along with our fanatic brethren, to the god of our hokey religion, to please please, let this one not suck.

Are you going to see Star Wars and where and with whom and are you wearing a costume and do you have a new hope that it will all be OK because J.J. Abrams has promised us he will make it so? Tell us all about it -- but no spoilers; don't be that guy -- in the comments, which this one time only we will allow because come on, man, IT'S STAR WARS, awwwwww yeah!