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It Would Appear There Is a Bristol Palin Memoir

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And then it came to this: "Bristol Palin (Author)"


How could you do such a thing, parenthesis? You've betrayed the English language. You too, the word "author."

Anyway, this book is untitled, because it's hard to sum up such a long, meaningful, event-filled life in just a few words. But we will try to help Bristol out. Here are a few suggestions:

War and Peace 2

Speaking GED To Power

Like That Time John McCain Got Captured In Vietnam, But With Some Teenage Hockey Player's Penis

A Life Well Lived, With Some Details of Nelson Mandela's Life To Fill This Thing Out To 304 Pages

Hatchet

Dancing With the Czars: Some Additional Bizarre Things My Mom's Ghostwriter Thinks That Isn't Worth Putting On Her Twitter

Having Sex: The Wildly Profitable Bad Decision

Are You There God? I'm Trying To Sign My Baby Up For An Endorsement Deal

Pre-order now! She's probably great at writing, we bet. (Author) [Amazon via Wonkette operative chascates]

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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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Hey, remember that hilarious time when Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy got caught on tape joking that LOL, Donald Trump and Congressman Dana Rohrabacher were totally on Putin's payroll? WaPo got the goods:

"There's two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump," McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy's assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

It's funny 'cause it's true! ALLEGEDLY. Earlier this month, Congressman Lubyanka Rohrabacher told Fox reporter Elex Michaelson that DNC hack was obviously an inside job.

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