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It's All Going To Be OK: The Zoo Pandas Signed a Five-Year Extension

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Talking crap about us, pandas?Why do we suddenly see members of Congress referring inanely to nerdface Hu Jintao, the weakest leader in the history of the People's Republic of China, as a "dictator" and a murdering "gangster"? Our pandas have been SECURED. That's right, Washington, your pandas have signed a five-year extension, so you can rest assured that your mediocre zoo will continue to be somewhat used for something other than as a jogging track. "The pandas may be a cultural attraction we had to borrow from China, but everything in Washington is borrowed from China, and we need something to put on our Metro cards." But despite the free speech grandstanding, if China suddenly becomes a democracy we probably will lose the pandas, haha.


Mei Xiang and Tian Tian have been at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C., for 10 years. And with today’s agreement, they can stay for another five, Secretary-General of the China Wildlife Conservation Association Zang Chunlin announced.

The current agreement officially expired in December, but an extension of the pair’s stay was expected. There is an official signing ceremony of the extended research agreement scheduled for Thursday morning at the National Zoo.

Did the pandas put little America jerseys over their business suits like sports players do at the announcement of their signing?

But yeah, like we said, those pandas are totally headed back to China if it becomes a democracy, because the people probably don't like us having them. (It's called "populism.") Pandas are a precious resource over there, because they're even better than children at making toys out of plastic and lead. [WSJ]

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Roger Stone, you got some 'splainin' to do, Mister! Remember all those times Stone swore on his Nixon tattoo that he never had any contact with Russians, wasn't a campaign surrogate, and wasn't tipped off to stolen DNC emails in advance? Like that time he told the Washington Post:

"I've never been to Russia. I didn't talk to anybody who was identifiably Russian during the two-year run-up to this campaign," he said. "I very definitely can't think of anybody who might have been a Russian without my knowledge. It's a canard."

Stone told the House Intelligence Committee the same thing last September, but, LOL FUNNY STORY! Seems that Stone just plum forgot about that time in May, 2016 when Trump communications advisor Michael Caputo asked him to meet with Henry Greenberg, "a man with a Make America Great Again hat and a viscous Russian accent." The Washington Post reports, Greenberg was offering sexxxxy Russian dirts on Hillary Clinton, which Stone and Caputo were only too happy to grab by the pussy. But they just couldn't get there!

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Congressman Beto O'Rourke, who hopes to replace Ted Cruz in the US Senate this fall, is one of several Texas and El Paso leaders participating in a march to the just-opened tent city at the US/Mexico border in Tornillo, Texas, where children have already been imprisoned "placed."

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