Pundits keep talking about how screwed the Bush Administration is or how much they've fucked stuff up, but we at Wonkette think that the problem is, in fact, the exact opposite. Only a totally long dry spell can explain the plethora of dick references and slips of the, um, tongue to come out of the Bush Administration in the last couple of weeks.
First up was National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley on November 28th, when, during a speech, he couldn't stop talking about Iranian erections. I don't deny that Andy Samberg's ode to A'jad's hotness didn't make me think more about Iranian men, but even I would be reluctant to go as far as Hadley did. Hadley then made no less than three separate references to "long poles" when talking about Iran on Monday, which, dude, seriously, keep it to yourself, ok?
Bush, being quite the leader himself, followed Hadley's lead with the "long pole" remarks on Tuesday in reference to Iran, but we're pretty sure he was just envious.
Then the, um, big Dick himself couldn't stop talking about Murtha and Dingell's balls and sticks which, frankly, of all the people in the Administration you would think wouldn't have penis envy it would be him (though, maybe he's just into ball torture the same way he's into other kinds of torture and is jealous of the grip Nancy has?). He also managed to sneak in some backhand references to long poles in Iraq (instead of Iran), but everyone knows that Dick's had a hard-on for Iraq for a while anyway.
So, as a public service (and despite how much it pains us), we would respectively like to request that Mrs. Hadley, Laura Bush and Lynne Cheney to put out this weekend and as much as possible over the next few months so that we can avoid war with Iran and maybe, just maybe, start to, um, pull out of Iraq. Okay, ladies? For your country. Thanks.
Hadley changes the language of diplomacy [Foreign Policy]