Hollywood movies, Playstation 3, "life skills" classes, Skyping, book-learning, foosball: This is the stuff of ultimate pleasure, and the basic ingredients one needs to create their American dream. So why are the detainees at Guantanamo Bay and their scary beards now enjoying these fruits of USA! USA! innovation and delight? They deserve only AIM and old Dudley Moore movies, at best.

As Fox News reports, Obamar was supposed to close Gitmo six months ago -- he even signed an executive order about it. But now it seems that he’s having too much fun running Gitmo as a pop culture indoctrination camp with lots of televisions and communist-sounding communal living to close it down:

At Camp 6, a minimum security facility within sight of bright Caribbean waters, detainees can now watch flatscreen TVs suspended from above (and encased in protective plastic) or attend classes on personal finance -- all while their feet are chained to the floor.

At first, detainees were offered four channels via satellite television, but now detainees can choose from among 18 channels, including Al Jazeera English, a sports channel, and broadcasts focusing on Tunisia, Libya or Kuwait, according to McManus, who said "nature shows are very popular."

That’s more channels than at least 47% of Americans can enjoy, thanks to rampant unemployment and poverty caused by Barry Hussein’s Muslinistic economic principles, says “a recent study.”

According to the camp “librarian,” the detainees “luuuuurve” the Twilight vampire movies, either because of Robert Pattinson’s seksi or because they are emotionally immature. More grown-up prisoners are totally digging the personal finance and English classes. And sporty spices get their kicks playing soccer, which has led to more injuries, which is probably costing the already overtaxed Vickis and Dons of Real America at least two cents apiece. Why can't Vicki and Don enjoy government-issued Playstations 3 and buttered popcorn bowls? The bald eagle cries out for justice. [Fox News]


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