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Tomorrow is the Families Belong Together March, Wonkers. If Rep. Pramila Jayapal and 500 other badass ladies from the Women's March can get arrested protesting in the Senate Office Building, you can get your tuchas out there tomorrow!


Check out Senator Duckworth!

The Trump administration is ripping babies away from their mothers, and they're planning to build concentration camps in the desert to house tens of thousands of people. THIS IS NOT OKAY.

So find a march near you! Or meet me, Your Five Dollar Feminist, at the Southwest Corner of Lafayette Park tomorrow between 10:15-10:30 AM. Here's the march route.

Sadly, we will not have Wonkette swag [because the editrix is a dick who forgot to send it -- editrix]. But we will be holding up a cool Wonkette sign made by my cool teenagers. And YOU will have water, a hat, and sunscreen in your small backpack, since it's going to be in the 90s tomorrow. You will not have anything remotely resembling a weapon, and you will not be smoking up, which is illegal on federal park land. More deets here.

The organizers have asked us to wear white, which means we'll be one giant sweat-soaked wet T-shirt contest by noon! Hooray, half-naked with my mom, my son, and half a million of my closest friends! WHICH INCLUDES YOU, WONKERS!

Can't wait to see you tomorrow. Please message me on Twitter @5DollarFeminist to let me know you're coming. I'll tweet if our plans change or if we're running late.

It's your country. FIGHT FOR IT.

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Please click here to fund us! We'll make it through this nightmare together.

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to www.famoushotels.org.

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.



In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

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