Ivanka Trump at a more marriageable age

Nobody hates Ivanka Trump. I mean, do they? She isn't at all an idiot, has a nice kind of common-sense gravitas, is easy on the eyes, and reportedly has been valiantly attempting to get her father to stop calling Mexicans rapists. Ivanka Trump seems okay! So it is unfortunate that in addition to embroiling herself in a lawsuit with celebrity chef Jose Anders because he was like "Mais non, senorita, I do not want to open my ristorante in your Old Post Office development in Washington DC because your father is a ravening jackal," she is now having another business setback, and that is that her Chinese-manufactured scarves might combust and melt your fashionable face off.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission announced on Wednesday that 20,000 Ivanka Trump-branded scarves are being recalled for violating the U.S. Federal Flammability Standard. The scarves, which are manufactured in China and made entirely of rayon, are considered a safety risk.

“This is a dangerous product,” said Scott Wolfson, a spokesman for the C.P.S.C.

The regulator said that it noticed the scarves online and that its experts acquired samples and tested them for flammability. So far there have been no reported cases of injuries from an igniting scarf.

Well that is good! New York does not need any more melty faces as long as the Real Housewives are still with us. (ZING!) Ivanka Trump's company is like "OUR BAD, thank you for fixing this so fast, we definitely don't want to burn all the skin off anyone's face, neck, head, scalp, or bosoms" and didn't even call the regulators jack-booted thugs who are out to get Ivanka Trump and should be abolished like the IRS and child labor laws.

Ivanka Trump's father, the presidential candidate Donald Trump, still insists that he alone can bring manufacturing back to America. Ivanka Trump's father, the presidential candidate Donald Trump, still makes his his ties in China.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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