Donate

Ivy League Professor Wingnut Pens Masterpiece About Dijon Mustard

News

If you have not already read and re-read (for the updates!)this blog post from a conservative law professor at Cornell about Barack Obama and dijon mustard, you should probably just go kill yourself for missing out.


Our jaw dropped somewhere around Update #4, but by Update #7 we were sobbing. It is now at Update #9 and this Wonkette post is taking forever to write because we cannot stop clapping. ART, people, there is ART occurring here.

*This* is how to go fucking nuts, live on the Internet. No offhand one-liners about TelePrompters or Kenya. Child's play! You've got to see Barack Obama order Dijon mustard for a hamburger and write a 9-update cosmic mindfuck of a blog post about it, littered with disastrous jokes left and right ("Mayo" looks/sounds like "Mao" !! !), over the course of three days. So thank you William A. Jacobson, Ivy League Law Professor, because this Internet deserves a better class of wingnut.

Dijongate [Legal Insurrection]

$
Donate with CC

It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

Giphy

SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc