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Ivy League Professor Wingnut Pens Masterpiece About Dijon Mustard

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If you have not already read and re-read (for the updates!)this blog post from a conservative law professor at Cornell about Barack Obama and dijon mustard, you should probably just go kill yourself for missing out.


Our jaw dropped somewhere around Update #4, but by Update #7 we were sobbing. It is now at Update #9 and this Wonkette post is taking forever to write because we cannot stop clapping. ART, people, there is ART occurring here.

*This* is how to go fucking nuts, live on the Internet. No offhand one-liners about TelePrompters or Kenya. Child's play! You've got to see Barack Obama order Dijon mustard for a hamburger and write a 9-update cosmic mindfuck of a blog post about it, littered with disastrous jokes left and right ("Mayo" looks/sounds like "Mao" !! !), over the course of three days. So thank you William A. Jacobson, Ivy League Law Professor, because this Internet deserves a better class of wingnut.

Dijongate [Legal Insurrection]

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If there is anything that right-wing men seem to love, it is paying lots and lots of money to other dudes who will tell them how to live and/or function.

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Screenshot- Laura Ingraham Show

According to Rachel Campos Duffy, former reality TV personality and current Fox News personality, migrant baby jails are better than the "Projects". And she totally knows this for fact because she has a "black friend" who told her so. This totally mysterious black friend enlightened her on the horrors faced by black people in black places, which makes it perfectly okay for Trumpco to lock away those "privileged" brown babies. Also, stop being mean to her for spewing that hot garbage on the Laura Ingraham (who believes baby jails are like "Summer Camp") show, because it's not fair that you refuse to believe she has a black friend.

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