Jack Abramoff to Get Early Release, Hunt Down and Kill Gary Cooper

Jack Abramoff, as you surely predicted, will be outta jail before Dick Cheney even gets in. That's the benefit of being a snitch, as Jack has been since they caught him.


Jack is currently serving 5-and-a-half years for the SunCruz casino boat fraud, but now that he's ratted on everyone else, the government thinks he should get out early. Of course, he's still got the fraud, tax evasion and conspiracy to bribe public officials, but you get off of those with basically a slap on the wrist and a ticket. Or ten years, we're not totally clear on sentencing guidelines.

Of course, we want Jack out of prison ASAP, just so that he can resume his charming email correspondence with Kim Eisler.

NBC: Abramoff could get reduced sentence [MSNBC]

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