All the gravitas, all the veritas, all the smarmitas

Self-important Hefty bag of slime mold James O'Keefe has released a shocking new video showing Hillary Clinton campaigners in Iowa shockingly discussing ways to get Hillary Clinton elected. The Clinton campaign told Time magazine last week that it suspected people pretending to be volunteers for O'Keefe's "Project Veritas" were trying to entrap Iowa campaign workers into saying something dumb or illegal. The beauty of O'Keefe's operation is that while he's never actually uncovered examples of people doing unethical or illegal things, he's awfully good at thinking of illegal shit to do, then either recording simulated crimes, or trying to get people to go along with doing crimes, which proves such crimes must be rampant. Except in Iowa, the Clinton campaign was paying attention, and warned staffers not to assist anyone in an Osama bin Laden mask to fake voter registration forms.

For instance, one woman tried to ask for advice on exceeding limits on campaign contributions. Another claimed to be a Canadian citizen and asked for help faking her address. And in the example that became the focus of video released Wednesday, an O'Keefe volunteer supposedly puts the lie to the Clinton campaign's assertion that an O'Keefe operative asked if it would be OK to not register people to vote if they said they supported another candidate, after which the Clinton campaign said its policy is to register anyone who asks, regardless of which candidate they prefer. Oh yeah, Hillary? Well, James O'Keefe has undercover video of a Clinton staffer saying ... exactly that. So scandalous!

It looks like, after the Clinton organization noticed his happy little drones, O'Keefe is rushing whatever he has onto YouTube, along with a promise that he's preparing to drop something really astonishing soon. Just as soon as the bran muffins kick in.

We're especially impressed by O'Keefe's Very Serious Narrator Voice in this thing. Legendary voiceover guy Will Lyman better thank his lucky stars that he works for that hotbed of liberalism Frontline, or James O'Keefe would be gunning for his job.

So what shocking revelations do we get in the video? O'Keefe insists that he's proven the Clinton operation is "skirting the law,” as Iowa law requires that no one who wants to register to vote be denied. And what do we see? A Clinton staffer instructing volunteers that the campaign's policy is to register anyone who asks to register. Oh, but here's the horrifying GOTCHA: The staffer also trains volunteers to start conversations by asking people if they're for Hillary, and then, if they say that they are, to ask if they're registered to vote. And if not, to move on to the next person. See? Malfeasance! Dishonesty! Or maybe, even worse, a political campaign!

Oh, sure, as Time points out, "This approach to training volunteers is standard operating procedure across field campaigns, according to a Republican field staffer, who requested anonymity." But the Clinton campaign is doing it, so it must be fishy.

After the shocking revelation that the Clinton for President campaign is actually trying to register likely Clinton supporters, O'Keefe warns the camera, “Stay tuned, Hillary, because we’re shortly going to release a stunning story of electoral malfeasance at the highest levels of your campaign. Check your email.”

Our advice to Hillary Clinton? Don't let any of your staff or volunteers go anywhere near a boat with James O'Keefe.

[Time / Time again]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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