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Jane Harman Doesn't Know How To Work Her Wireless Router, Which Is Google's Problem, Apparently

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You know all those Google Street View cars that are methodically driving up and down every street in the world, including those in America, and taking thousands of pictures, just so you can get drunk and enter your ex's address into Google Maps and sullenly masturbate to pictures of his or her house? Well these cars apparently pick up ambient Wi-Fi signals, and MIGHT have been recording them and putting them in the Google Database of All Knowledge, who knows? Consumer Watchdog, a "leading advocacy group," is very concerned about this, and so they decided to draw attention to it the only way they know how: by creepily skulking outside the houses of members of Congress, and publicizing which ones are too dumb to put passwords on their wi-fi routers.


This scandal has far too many national security implications to be printed in the U.S., naturally, but fortunately the Brits don't care who knows about Jane Harman and Henry Waxman's unsecured wireless networks. Or at least there are unsecured networks in the vicinity of these houses, which could belong to anyone! (Your morning editor can actually see four different networks from his home office in addition to his own, all of which are password-protected, because his neighbors are not morons.) It's possible that these Congresspeople may have changed the names of their networks from NETGEAR to something more personally identifiable, like aipac4ever, but still not added a password.

What state secrets are sitting on Google's auto-computers, right now? Is Henry Waxman being blackmailed, because now They know that he spends thousands of tax dollars buying mustache-grooming products over the Internet? Consumer Watchdog is really keen to get Google execs to testify under oath about this, which is presumably why they did something creepy and weird to demonstrate the fact that Google had the capability to do something creepy and weird. Creeping out members of Congress is pretty much your ticket to getting nationally televised hearings on whatever your pet issue is. Just lurk in the bushes outside John Boehner's house for a while, pretty soon the House Republican caucus will be itching to ban all shrubbery forever. [BBC]

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Nancy Pelosi is making news again today after her weekly press conference, mostly because she said this about yesterday's nutbag performance from President Stable Genius:

[T]his time, another temper tantrum — again — I pray for the President Of The United States. I wish him and his family, his administration and staff would have an intervention for the good of the country.

She prays for him. And she's just kind of suggesting that maybe the president is unwell, in his brain. She's being very subtle!

When Glenn Thrush asked afterward what kind of "intervention" she might be talking about, she suggested that Article 25 would be just fine.

But many folks out there right now are saying "BUT WHAT ABOUT INPEACH! They are not going to do an intervention, because the intervention is called INPEACH!" (They are taking her words very literally, it would seem.) Every other damn day lately, there is news about how "NANCY SAID INPEACH IS BAD" or "NANCY SAID TRUMP'S ACTIONS IS SELF-INPEACH-ATORY, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, NANCY!" and whatever else, we don't know, because we have muted all of Twitter until further notice. (Here is some news about the House Democrats' weekly meeting yesterday, most of which was about Democrats yelling INPEACH! while Nancy Pelosi gave them cold showers.)

Here's the thing:

In today's presser, Pelosi was clearer than ever about her feelings on impeachment -- she doesn't like it, and she'd really hate for the nation to get to a place where that's inevitable, she is just saying it would be truly terrible for them to have to do that -- but they might just be FORCED to go there. And wouldn't that be just terrible? Nancy Pelosi is praying about that just like she is praying for Trump, under a big oak tree that casts all the shade she threw at Donald Trump for her entire fucking presser.

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Happy Throwback Thursday! Remember Paul Manafort? He's still in jail, don't worry. But it looks like he might be getting some company soon from his old pal Stephen Calk, who just got indicted today by the Southern District of New York.

Calk was a simple CEO and COB at the Federal Savings Bank of Chicago, but he had big dreams. He'd been an army pilot and a money guy, so he figured he was competent to be either Secretary of Treasury or Secretary of Army. He'd take Commerce or HUD, or even a cool ambassadorship to France, or the UK, or the UN -- he wasn't picky. Just any old position befitting a guy who is 100 percent going to be played by Michael McKean in the movie version of this nightmare.

Luckily Calk knew a guy on the inside. Sure that guy had recently been You're Fired from the Trump campaign for ratfucking the Ukrainian election, but Paul Manafort was still waving his bits all over Trumpland in the summer and fall of 2016, so Paul Manafort had the hookup that Calk needed. Luckily, Calk had what Manafort needed, which was MONEY. Manafort's fountain of untaxed cash had dried up since the Ukrainians gave his guy Viktor Yanukovych the boot, and he was in danger of losing multiple investment properties to foreclosure. So naturally Calk stepped up to the plate with $15 million in loans to keep the wolves at bay, because what are friends with more political ambition than scruple for, right?

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