Forgetful Capitol Rioters Called Pelosi's Office Looking For The 'Lost And Found'

Criminal geniuses they're not.

In yet another unbelievable yet extremely believable and on brand development, re: the January 6 Capital Riots, it turns out that after the dust had settled, many of the rioters went back to their respective hotel rooms and called Nancy Pelosi's office, demanding to speak to the manager about where the "Lost and Found" was. Because they left their stuff there while they were illegally invading the Capitol building, and they wanted it back.

Naturally, the police were more than happy to take down their info and "get back to them later."

"The officers quickly got on the phone and said, yeah, just give us your name, your address, your social, you know, and we'll tie up those loose ends," Maryland Democratic Rep. Jamie Raskin said in an interview with Insider. "But what's so fascinating to me about that there really were people who felt as if they had been summoned to Washington by the president."

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January 6

HEY! Merrick Garland Charges Oath Keepers With Seditious Conspiracy To Overthrow The Government In Capitol Riot!


The Justice Department came out swinging this afternoon, leveling an indictment for seditious conspiracy against 11 members of the Oath Keepers, including head Oaf Stewart Rhodes. According to the DOJ, the defendants conspired to "oppose by force the lawful transfer of presidential power." So, not so much with that bullshit they were flogging about descending on DC to be Roger Stone's body guards.

The indictment alleges that the defendants assembled an "arsenal" of guns, which they stored at a Comfort Inn in Arlington guarded by a "Quick Reaction Force" of militia members, ready to rush into the Capitol if their plot to overthrow the government looked like it might work. Because of DC's strict gun laws, they only brought in the legal stuff, "including knives, batons, camouflaged combat uniforms, tactical vests with plates, helmets, eye protection and radio equipment."

They then marched on Capitol in a stack formation, which is kinda strong evidence that somebody conspired with somebody to do something. Plus there's the whole business of them wearing damn uniforms.

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Right Wing Extremism

Hmmm Why Would Republicans Be HOLY SH*TBALLS SO MAD About New DOJ Domestic Terrorism Unit?

It can't be terrorism if the people are white!

This morning, the Justice Department announced the creation of a new Domestic Terrorism Unit housed in the National Security Division. Testifying before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Assistant Attorney General Matthew Olsen described the new program with lawyers dedicated specifically to countering our own homegrown radicals.

"We face an elevated threat from domestic violent extremists — that is, individuals in the United States who seek to commit violent criminal acts in furtherance of domestic social or political goals," Olsen said. "Domestic violent extremists are often motivated by a mix of ideologies and personal grievances. We have seen a growing threat from those who are motivated by racial animus, as well as those who ascribe to extremist anti-government and anti-authority ideologies."

“This group of dedicated attorneys will focus on the domestic terrorism threat, helping to ensure that these cases are handled properly and effectively coordinated across the Department of Justice and across the country,” Olsen added later.

What a difference a president makes! On the heels of the anniversary of the Capitol Riot, the country is no longer led by someone who tells the Proud Boys to "stand back and stand by." And the Justice Department isn't helmed by someone who fantasizes about planeloads of Antifa supersoldiers flying around the country in formation ready to fuck shit up.

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January 6

Gateway Pundit Says It's Cool To Assault Cops If They Are Bad Cops

Thin blue line and whatnot.

Picture it: A police officer assaults and/or kills an unarmed Black person. Picturing this will require little effort given the frequency with which this occurs. In the discussion following this incident, someone on the Left suggests that, in the event that a police officer is assaulting and/or in the midst of killing someone, it is acceptable to assault said officer to get them to stop.

I think we can safely say that a whole lot of people would be straight-up apoplectic, given the way the Great Nazi Punching Discourse of 2017 played out. The Right, naturally, would get all teary-eyed about everything, and moderate Democrats would be scrambling across CNN and MSNBC for their Sister Souljah moments.

Well, on Monday, someone said just that. Although you probably didn't hear about it, because that person was ... Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man On The Internet.

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