Jeb! Bush Failing So Hard He Needs His Brother's Help, LOL
This is just sad. Like, we almost feel bad for this guy, that's how sad. (Calm down, we said almost.) While Jeb! Bush has already lost the presidential election, because we said so, he's now in such deep manure, with those polling numbers racing toward zero faster than a Bush races into Iraq, that Big Brother Dubya has to lend a hand. You know, the brother whose name is so toxic in Republican circles that they dare not speak it aloud. The brother who'd said in April that we probably wouldn't see much of him during this election, because hoo boy, it wouldn't help Jeb none to remind voters that he came from the same gene pool as President A Idiot, who broke the whole US of A to death, practically.
Oh, how things have changed:
Former President George W. Bush made a fundraising appeal Thursday to supporters of his brother's presidential campaign.
And gosh, if the letter doesn't sort of sound like good ol' dim-witted Dubya, though without the self-amused chuckling and the made-up words:
Thanks for taking the time to read my note. I rarely send emails like this, but I wanted to make sure I asked for your support on behalf of my brother, Jeb. [...]
Jeb took on tough challenges as Florida's Governor and delivered results. I know he will do the same as President.
Like that one time Jeb was tasked, as Florida's governor but more importantly as George's baby brother, with delivering the state's electoral votes in the 2000 election! Boy, that was a hard one, and Jeb couldn't even get that right without an assist from the Supreme Court. No wonder Jeb is not his mommy's favorite son.
Jeb is definitely not the Republicans' favorite son either. Even Fox News knows its viewers would rather stare at an empty stage that says TRUMP on it than listen to Jeb! Bush say words. No joke:
Hard to remember there was a time when anyone took Jeb's presidential aspirations seriously. Not us, of course, we always knew he would be not very good at this. However, no one could have predicted that he'd be this bad. Getting all confused about whether he'd do Iraq (yes, no, huh, maybe, WHY DO YOU HATE THE TROOPS?, nah) like his brother, and then getting all confused again about how that worked (it didn't). He's even borrowing from George's Is Our Children Learning dick-shun-airy, for presidenting:
A president is a decider. A president leads by making decisions.
Oh realllly? Is he a commander guy too?
Christ, no wonder Jeb's doing so badly, he needs the country's worst president ever to lend his good-or-at-least-not-as-bad name to his doomed effort.
God, that really is sad, isn't it?