Two things in the world are true, and only two:

  1. Jenna Bush-Hager, daughter of Dubya, granddaughter of Poppy, still does "journalism" for the NBC "Today Show" thingie sometimes.
  2. This really hot guy named Pita Taufatofua was the Olympic flag-bearer for Tonga during the Rio opening ceremonies, and he brokeded the entire united states of the internet, with his glistening body.

Because these things are true, and because Jenna is in Rio covering the Olympics, there was a moment on the television Monday that probably made Laura Bush and Barbara Bush and maybe even the boy Bushes super J that they couldn't switch places with Jenna like RIGHT NOW.

Enjoy the following journalism segment, where Jenna, Natalie Morales, Hoda Kotb and Al Roker take turns dipping their paws in vats of sexxx oil and rubbing it all over Pita The Hot Tongan.

SPOILER ALERT: Al Roker actually did not violate the hot piece of man meat with his fingers.

SPOILER ALERT AGAIN: Hoda and Jenna totally hand-banged the man, on live TV.

Jenna REALLY got into it, as you can see, while Al Roker stood in the background wondering how this is his life.

You might be thinking, did poor Natalie Morales stand over on the side the whole time and have to lather her own body with oil, because she was too far away to reach into the nice man's underthings and grab at stuff? Yes:

But it was OK because later, she and Jenna got their picture made with Pita, and Hoda was nowhere to be found:

Hussies, all of them. Including the boy, who totally knows how fine he is.


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate with CC

In 2014, Pastor Jamie Coots of the Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus' Name church in Middlesborough, Kentucky died from a rattlesnake bite. Was it a camping accident? Did something go terribly wrong at the zoo? No, he was handling those snakes on purpose, in order to demonstrate how super holy he was. Not holy enough, it seems,

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

Once upon a time, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers at least claimed to focus their efforts entirely on immigrants involved in criminal activity. Those days are long gone, and now they're going after anyone, including law-abiding people who are just trying to drive their pregnant wives to the hospital to give birth.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

  • Saturday, Aug 11th ....... Seattle, WA
    Discovery Park, 4-7pm
  • Sunday, Aug 12th ....... Bellingham, WA
    Sunnyland Park, 2-5pm
  • Sunday, Aug 19th ....... Spokane, WA
    Audubon Park, 2-5pm

Read More

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc