Jersey City Dem Pees All Over D.C. Nightclubbers
Once upon a time there was a city called "Jersey City," and people moved there to live when Manhattan got too expensive. A gentleman politician from this fine city made headlines this weekend when he urinated in a grand and public fashion on a crowd of people in Washington D.C.
Steven Lipski, a proud Democratic councilman, paid money to go see a Grateful Dead tribute band, and for this crime alone Rahm Emanuel will stuff a dead fish in his mouth. But even worse, he got so hammered he thought it would be a good idea to unzip his pants and piss off a balcony, like a drunken clown.
The police did not find this funny, so they arrested him. He tried to say that he was not urinating on anyone, he had merely spilled a drink, but of course nobody believed the comical boozebag.
Jersey City politicians have a long and proud history of embarrassing public hijinks:
- The current mayor Jerramiah Healy was elected in 2004, even though shortly before the election photos circulated of him "naked and passed out on his front stoop."
- This same mayor was "arrested and pepper-sprayed" outside a nightclub in 2006 "after tussling with local cops."
This background information leads us to conclude that Steven Lipski is planning a mayoral run in the near future.
Jersey City Councilman Steven Lipski is No. 1 threat at Washington club [New York Daily News]
Councilman vows to quit alcohol after public urination bust [New York Daily News]