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Jesus Undead Again We Guess

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We were going to put some Easter songs here for ya, Wonkzards, but when you google "easter songs," it comes back with a MESS of songs about "His Crimson Blood" and "His Blood Came In Rivers" and "Oh My God, The Blood, So Much Blood, The Blood." So we figured we'd keep it simple, stupid. Have some Miss Mahalia and praise Him what made her possible amen.

Haha, you thought you were getting away without any songs about "the blood," didn't you. Not bloody likely, on this, the goriest of all our zombie holy days.

And per Baldar's suggestion in the comments:

NOW it's Easter.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Did you know the Russia investigation is still a thing? America sort of took a break from it (Robert Mueller didn't), so we could focus on being horrified that Donald Trump has been ripping babies out of mommies' arms with such glee you'd think the babies were Big Macs. But here are a couple stories you might have missed in the past couple of days, and they both involve Devin Nunes obstructing justice, because that's the only thing he's good at. (OK, fine, we may have heard a rumor that he is also good at fucking cows, but that is just a rumor, so you guys need to stop being such Gossiping Gwendolyns!)

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This weekend, Sarah Huckabee Sanders was politely asked to leave a restaurant in Virginia. Before that, Department of Homeland Security chief Kirstjen Nielsen -- fresh off of denying then excusing putting Mexican children in cages -- was shamed out of a Mexican restaurant. And Pam Bondi, the Florida AG, got her ass booed out of a screening of the Mr. Rogers documentary by a good citizen. Watch it, it was great!

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