Jill Stein And That Weird Dilbert Guy Walk Into A Bar: Your Weekly Top Ten!
Cutest new picture of Wonket Baby yet? YES.
Hola, Wonkers, what's shakin'? Your butts, probably! Oh wait, this isn't dance party, this is top ten. Nothing is shaking, as you are lying in your muu muus in bed, drinking coffee and reading yr Wonkette. So ... we'll count down the top ten stories like we always do, yeah?
But before we do that, if you heart us SO MANY TIMES and you value the work we do for you, won't you toss us $5, $10, or $25 as a special sexxxytime money present? It is the easiest. You pull out your wallet and you give us money. And you look at the traditional Wonk baby lion picture while you do that, because that is the kind of trickery we employ around here:
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW.
Shall we now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY? Yes we shall!
1. That weirdo Dilbert guy Scott Adams got LITERALLY CASTRATED by Alicia Keys and the DNC.
2. "Doctor" Jill Stein is pandering to anti-vaxxers, because she is terrible.
3. Yr editrix got canvassed by a Jill Stein guy! It didn't go well for him!
4. Why are all the Gold Star families being so mean to poor Donald Trump?
5. Fucking Jill Stein again. She didn't want none of you Bernie voters ANYWAY.
6. Ryan Bundy went full sovereign citizen, and also called HIMSELF a idiot.
7. Why can't man-baby Donald Trump use all the U.S. nuclear arsenal on people he doesn't like, WHY WHY WHY? We wonksplained it out for him.
8. UH OH, looks like Chris Christie is falling out of love with his daddy Donald Trump!
9. The mean Democratic Convention stole all the Republicans' toys from them and made them CRY A LOT.
10. And finally, CNN's Brian Stelter kicked the ass of a Trumpkin insisting Trump's fight with the Khan family was about terrorism somehow.
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories. They are very good stories!
OK, Wonkers, you have one task left, and this is it. You need to sign up for the Wonkette newsletter, RIGHT NOW! It is the best of all the newsletters, even better than the emails from the Hillary campaign!
And there you go. It's your Top Ten post! Want more baby pictures? Here: