Jilted Lover Chris Christie Takes Trump's Name In Vain, Gonna Get A Spankin'


Yeah you better check to see where the nearest exit is, Chris Christie.

Uh oh, looks like somebody is still bitter that Donald Trump passed him over for the vice-presidential slot on his losing ticket, and instead chose the obviously more nubile Mike Pence to be his running mate lover. After spending a couple of months being denied his precious Oreos, and insisting that NUH UH, he is not being forced to be at Trump's beck and call as his scantily-clad pool boy, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has shaken off the shame of his own poor life choices, found his dignity in a ball of underpants on the ground, and decided to speak out against the cruel orange man's treatment of that nice Muslim couple Khizr and Ghazala Khan.

Sort of:

In an unusual break with Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, Gov. Chris Christie said that Khizr and Ghazala Khan have the “right” to say whatever they want, and that criticism of them is “inappropriate.”

“I didn’t see Mr. Khan’s speech at the DNC but I’ll just say this: I’m a father and I just cannot imagine the pain of losing a child under any circumstances,” Christie said at an afternoon press conference in the Statehouse. “And for Mr. and Mrs. Khan, the pain of losing their son while defending our country is unfathomable, and I think it gives them the right to say whatever they want, whether they’re right or wrong.” [...]

“We need to honor their sacrifice for our country and we need to honor their son’s sacrifice for our country," Christie said. "And to focus on anything other than that, to me, is missing the point. That’s what we should be doing, and any comments that we’re making publicly or privately should be with that in mind. My view on this is that the Khans have a right to say whatever it is they want regarding the loss of their son and that for all the Gold Star families out there, they have put forward a sacrifice that I cannot fathom as a parent.”

That's nice. It's funny, though, whose name is missing from that entire quote. It's like Christie's scared to actually invoke the name of his sexxxytime BDSM daddy, lest he come home to find the Pringles vault locked, the key thrown into the Hudson River, never to be found again, except for by some fishes who ain't got teeth for chomping Pringles like Chris Christie does.

Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, so Politico notes that when asked specifically if he was condemning Trump's behavior, Christie said, "I’ll give my advice to him as I always to, personally and privately," uh huh personally and privately, IN BED WITH COOKIES.


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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