'Jobs Summit' Expected To Somehow Raise Unemployment Another 89.8 Percent

  • Bank of America is rushing to pay back its outstanding TARP loans so it can free itself of executive compensation restrictions and pay a new crop of monstrous assholes comical sums of cash to ruin the world again. Something needs tweaking? [NYT]
  • Basically we have to nuke India a few times to get the Pakistanis to trust us and kill Al Qaeda for us. [Washington Post]
  • A golf player from Florida cheats on his wife all the time and must apologize to all the people who enjoy watching him play golf on teevee. [ESPN]
  • A midsize cumrag in Washington D.C. sympathizes with beleaguered Republican senators, who are very mad at Al Franken for trying to be "comedic" by making them vote against a ladies' rape protection thing which made the public dislike them and mock them on the Internet. [Media Matters]
  • Barack Obama will not have any of those wretched F-22s he hates so much in any of his background shots, goddamnit. [Foreign Policy]
  • Barack Obama's uncared-about Job Summit is today! "Jobs Summit." It won't be quite as effective as announcing, say, a Provisional Preliminary Research Task Force On Maybe Getting People Jobs At Some Point In The Next Century, but we can't afford one of those right now. [Washington Post]

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