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Joe The Plumber Liked Journalist Camp In Gaza, Except For What He's Pretty Sure Was Color War

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  • Mexican urban legend Alberto Gonzales is unable to find a job and is comically blaming the recession for this. After Barack Obama redistributes the world's wealth to atheist hobos, a dog is expected to have eaten Gonzales' new job. [TPMMuckraker]
  • Howard Dean is doing that thing again, on the Internet, in which he gets all the "young people" to make blood pledges to keep creating Facebook groups until he is friend-requested as President of Hospitals. [Ben Smith]
  • The evils of Bernie Madoff went unchecked for so long because of linguistically confused SEC-on-SEC fighting. One SECer used the following collection of similes, metaphors and analogies to "paint a picture" of said fighting: "The SEC roars like a mouse and bites like a flea," "the relationship between the SEC's Boston and New York offices is about as warm and cordial as the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry" and the ominously alogical "You need old foxes to come in and police the hen houses." [Top of the Ticket]
  • Sarah Palin has big plans to hunt romantic comedy lead Ashley Judd with guns from a helicopter. [CNN Political Ticker]
  • Joe the Plumber has returned from journalist sleepover camp in Gaza! (Ahhh 8 weeks went by so fast you guys!) He will now work as an adviser to the GOP, a job for which it is required that other (non-children) humans go along with the conceit that Joe, the fake non-owner of a non-small plumbing business, has actual, insightful advice about a given topic. [Crooks and Liars]
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