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Here is John Boehner accepting a Henry Hyde Defender of Life Award the other day for having had the fewest number of abortions of any man in history. It hasn't been easy for him, wanting to have so many abortions but always refusing, and this is why he's crying. He cries constantly, pretty much whenever he's not screaming.

As Jon Chait notes (unnecessary "gender expectations" nonsense aside), John Boehner has much crying ahead of him in the near future, regardless of what happens to America:

If you needed more evidence, see what our Google image search on "Boehner cries" reveals. I'm pretty sure we'll see some tears if Republicans win the majority this November -- or, come to think of it, if they fail. It's actually kind of an interesting contrast as far as gender expectations goes. If Democrats hold on to the House, the Speaker will be a tough-as-nails negotiator who specializes in keeping a cool head when everybody else is freaking out. If Republicans win, the Speaker will be a manicured tanning addict who cries at the drop of a hat. Either way, it's a blow for gender stereotypes.

Eh, it'd be worth it, because John Boehner will also save Capitalism. Nancy Pelosi will just have more abortions.

[Jonathan Chait]

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