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John Edwards Jury Sick of Dealing With It, Mean Judge Makes Them Continue Dealing With It (UPDATE)

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I'm ready for my sex tapeDon't you love that smell when the entire media realizes it's just wasted an hour on nothing? Such has been the case this afternoon, when the big news orgs announced that a JOHN EDWARDS VERDICT HAS BEEN REACHED and WOULD BE ANNOUNCED AT 3:00. Finally! It had been like 10 days with these jurors "deliberating." Why is "justice" taken so seriously in this country, occasionally? Just throw the guy in the slammer or don't, it would be funny either way. But alas, no verdict was ANNOUNCED AT 3:00. It turns out the jury had only reached a decision on one of six counts and wanted to wrap things up and flee the courthouse. The judge made them return to deliberations, however. This is seeming very, very Blago Trial I, today. But what the hell do we know? (UPDATE: THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.)


Yeah, it looks like they were just screwing with the media.

GREENSBORO, N.C. (AP) -- The judge in John Edwards' campaign corruption trial is telling jurors to keep deliberating after she apparently misunderstood them and thought they had reached a verdict on all six counts.

The jury was called into the courtroom Thursday and U.S. District Judge Catherine C. Eagles said she understood the panel had reached a verdict on all counts. That's when the jury foreman said no.

Do you think John Edwards will go to jail, dear readers? He's a purty one.

UPDATE: Edwards is not guilty on the one charge the jury had decided on. And WRAL reports that it's a mistrial on the other five counts. The trial's over. Will they retry it? UNCLEAR. Seems like it would be a waste of time though!

[AP]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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