John Edwards to War on Terror: "NAA NAA NAA NAA!! I DON'T SEE YOU!"
Holy balls! Apparently, while Wayne Madsen was watching his BFF Mike Gravel put Dennis Kucinich's baton in someone's snatch (and while we were watching 30 Rock), John Edwards found a way to boldly differentiate himself from some of his Dem-nom-seeking colleagues. Fuck being "one signature away from winning the Iraq War!" Edwards upped the ante by laying down some crazy, Jedi-mind trick-a-doo by simply REFUSING TO BELIEVE THE WAR ON TERROR IS HAPPENING! Suck on that, causality! How could we possible LOSE something that never occurs to us!
Apparently, the only person who caught this was Politico blogger Ben Smith. Boldly deviating from the Politico's time-honored reportage strategy of staring longingly into a mirror at his own image, the intrepid Smith, broke away for enough crucial seconds to read this on MSNBC's website:
Last night, NBC's Brian Williams asked the eight Democratic candidates to raise their hand if they believe there is such a thing as a global war on terror. A review of the tape today shows that Biden, Edwards, Gravel, and Kucinich did not raise their hands. Clinton, Dodd, Obama, and Richardson did.
Yeah. If you're wondering why we hold out Edwards for special attention over his fellows, remember: Edwards actually has a prayer in Hell of winning the nomination! He's also the one who elaborated:
I believe -- and this goes to the question you asked earlier, just a few minutes ago -- global war on terror. I think there are dangerous people and dangerous leaders in the world that America must deal with and deal with strongly, but we have more tools available to us than bombs.
So there you have it, America! Tools, not bombs! 54-40 or Allen wrenches! WorldNetDaily is already darkly musing: "Tools...like maybe a HAMMER and a SICKLE, Mr. Edwards?"