John Kasich Doing Something Today Too, We Dunno, We Weren't Listening
Oh hell, in all our jizz-citement over Ted Cruz running away to eat a million cans of soup by himself in hell, and in our glee about the loser #NeverTrump people beating themselves up over what a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day this is for America, we forgot John Kasich was running for president. Our bad.
Anyway, he's quitting. Enjoy Trump, you dumbass Republicans!