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John Kerry's Drunk Daughter Busted In Hollywood

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John Kerry doesn't want you masturbating to this.Oh jeez we will have to rewrite this lede to cover the (allegedly!) drunken Democrats who will all be arrested in Hollywood every night until Jesus' birthday and the New Year are safely behind us: "It's the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs Hollywood are is going to be particularly deadly until January 3 or so, as Republican congresspeople elitist Democrats and their drunken wives and rent boys adult children wreak havoc on the icy semen-slick suburban gentrified urban streets."


Why? Because John Kerry's adult daughter Alexandra Kerry -- who, several years ago, once wore a see-thru dress so you could look at her boobs, in Europe -- got stopped by the LA cops for some traffic violation at a quarter to one this morning.

Because she is a Democrat, Alexandra was out past midnight, and because she's a crafty liberal, she reportedly refused the copper's field DUI test. So by the time she got to the station, she was only .06, and you need .08 for DUI! (But not really, as you can still be prosecuted for driving drunkenly even if you've had like two margaritas all night. But still, LA doesn't bother prosecuting if you're under .08, unless you drove through a Farmer's Market or something, or if you're poor or Mexican or whatever.) [TMZ]

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