Jon Stewart Returns, Fixes Ferguson And Everything Else (Video)
As we've noted before,Jon Stewart should not be allowed to go on vacation, ever. During his late-June break, ISIS took over a huge chunk of Iraq, the House sued the president, and Israel went to war in Gaza (again). And two days into Stewart's most recent summer hiatus, Michael Brown was shot to death by a cop in Ferguson, Missouri. The weirdest stuff seems to happen when there's no Jon Stewart around to mock it.
And so, on to Ferguson, which was so outrageous that Bill O'Reilly cut short his own vacation to express his outrage. At the protests. Stewart notices a certain theme in Fox coverage, extending even to Fox contributor Linda Chavez complaining about media descriptions of "an unarmed black teenager shot by a white cop," which she said "actually colors the way in which we look at this story." Indeed, notes Stewart, "describing the actual facts of the case really does color the way we look at it." Why not something more uplifting, like "Hero cop kills alien hunting human for sport"? And why even cover Ferguson at all, for that matter? When a Fox guest asks Lou Dobbs why the media isn't giving equal coverage to "black on black crime," Stewart couldn't agree more: "Yes! Why all the interest in holding police officers to a higher standard than gangs?"
Then there's Sean Hannity, who can't see why Michael Brown went and got himself shot in the first place. After all, when Sean Hannity gets a speeding ticket, he just politely informs the officer of his concealed weapon permit and lets the cop know he's carrying. You know, as a courtesy. Stewart's not all that sympathetic:
You really do have no fucking idea, do you? Basically, you’re saying: if only Michael Brown, instead of holding his hands over his head, had reached down to his waist and lifted up his shirt to show the gun he did not actually have, this whole tragedy could have been avoided. Do you not understand that life in this country is inherently different for white people and black people?
Which of course, is ridiculous. There is no racism in America anymore, and race had nothing to do with Ferguson. Besides, as anyone knows, the real systemic discrimination in this country is all against Christians.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.