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Jonah Goldberg Upset That Ecological Apocalypse Could Undermine Political Support For Offshore Drilling

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With this insane freaking oil rig down there shitting out all of the world's oilat a pace that could reach six million gallons a day -- the Exxon Valdez spill was 11 million gallons, total -- destroying the entire Gulf Coast (again, but permanently) and sending price shocks throughout the global economy for a while, the National Review's in-house gimp Jonah Goldberg is getting all hot and bothered. Not so much about all that economic/environmental bunk -- whatever. It's that now Jonah will have to listen to these liberal wieners exploit this Actual Armageddon for their gay political gain, ugh.


Obviously, if I thought the oil-rig disaster was a calamity on Tuesday, I think it even more of one now. And if it really does take three months to stop the leak, the environmental catastrophe could be a mortal wound to offshore oil drilling, particularly the deep-water stuff. Three months of oil-covered birds leading the nightly newscasts. Three months of politicians hearing from their justifiably fearful constituents. Three months of environmentalists saying "we told you so."

If it doesn't take three months, if they get this thing fixed sooner rather than later, it'll still be awful and critics of offshore drilling will still have ample ammo. But it's worth noting that unless you're going to abandon oil altogether, the case for offshore drilling — and domestic drilling generally — still has a lot of merit, even on environmental terms. Oil tankers are still way more dangerous than oil rigs. Thousands of tankers traversing the oceans raises the risks of spills considerably more than rigs close to shore.

(Hmm. Whatever oil we would get from increased drilling in America would have no effect on the number of oil tankers traversing the oceans, except to maybe increase them, because again GLOBAL OIL COMPANIES SELL TO THE HIGHEST GLOBAL BIDDER BECAUSE THEY ARE PROFIT-DRIVEN CORPORATIONS SELLING OIL, GLOBALLY.)

And yet, the ENVIRONAZIS.

Stupid liberal treefuckers and their liberal media showing liberal ducks covered in oil, which will literally happen to every duck and other animal in the region.

[The Corner]

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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